Brexit: Voting to leave the EU – to find out you don’t want to leave the EU. Such a clear example of British irony – even an American can understand!
I predicted it! A week before the Brexit vote, I said: “Britain will probably vote to Leave the EU – but no one is going to let it really happen. Then all the EU haters who say ‘It doesn’t matter how I vote’ will have every right to say ‘I told you so!’”
BUT what I didn’t predict was how immediate and near-universal the shame and regret would be. Leave voters gave interviews saying ‘I didn’t realize we’d actually Leave!’
The former editor of The Sun says he now has ‘buyers remorse.’
AND Brexit Leave campaigner Oliver Healey was SO ready to be disappointed by the referendum result, he started a petition for a Second Referendum!
That petition now has a record number of signatories – 3 million and counting – so Britain can indeed vote again, but vote to REMAIN.
According to Politico.eu the guy has now started a second petition to KEEP the Brexit result, and how many people signed up for that? (a couple thousand so far)
There’s even a new term for the Brexit response: #BREGRET, which came in first place after runners up “The Brangover,”
the “Broops,” or the
YET – according to the old Seinfeld video with George as the UK – “Brexit Schmexit… Just Pretend the Whole Thing Never Happened.
But Britain! There’s NOTHING to regret! You’re not really out!
(Were you ever really in?)
It’s called Article 50: The part of the EU Constitution that allows a country to opt out of the EU. And until someone fills out the paperwork, Britain, you don’t need a second referendum. You’re still here.
Worst disappearing act ever.
And let’s be honest – when it comes to countries voting in referendums – the EU has a long tradition of saying “MEH…”
UK citizen Kash Yusaf posted this chart from an EU textbook called ‘Don’t take no for an answer.’
In response to various Referendum votes, the EU sometimes accepts a result. Sometimes it ignores a result. And if you’re Ireland you’re simply “Made to Vote Again.”
Just last year the Greek bailout referendum was IGNORED – not by the EU, but by the Greek government.
And this year in 2016 – the Brexit is result is being ignored – for the first time – by the people who voted for it.
In fact the only ones who seem to be taking the Brexit vote seriously are in Brussels.
YOU BREXIT, YOU BOUGHT IT!
And so Britain – if you want to stay in the EU – now you’ll have to accept our terms.
You’ll have to adopt the metric system.
You’ll have to stop driving on the left.
And when you travel to any other EU country, you’ll have to stop saying ‘I’m going to Europe for the weekend’ Because you’re fucking IN Europe!
WATCH: United States of Europe in YouTube.