Netherlands Second Tag

GREG SHAPIRO IN TELEGRAAF

Greg Shapiro in Telegraaf

Greg Shapiro in Telegraaf

27 March, 2024
So I was interviewed in the Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf, about a new proposal for expats to integrate into Dutch culture with the coercion of their employers. At first, it sounds like an unlikely proposal. Who has the time? But when I thought back to my first days in Amsterdam, my Dutch boss had me doing plenty of cultural integration. Thank you to Boom Chicago’s Ms. Saskia Maas.
And look at me now: I am a volunteer for helping garbage collection in my neighborhood. Hey, Expats! If you want to make friends with Dutch folks, first just keep the place clean!

Here are some excerpts from the interview. The link to the full article is below. 
(from Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf, 27 March, 2024. Translation Google / Shapiro)


‘Expats also need to integrate.’

by Marijn Schrijver

This is what the Amsterdam PvdA (Labor) party proposes. Expats aka ‘Knowledge Migrants’ must learn the language just like other newcomers. Expat expert Greg Shapiro doesn’t think it’s a bad idea at all.

Internationals with high-paying jobs are finding their way to Amsterdam en masse. And they continue to live there longer and longer. As far as PvdA faction leader Lian Heinhuis is concerned, it is time for them to also learn the language, participate in sports or volunteer work and gain knowledge about the history and tradition of Amsterdam. This week she is submitting the initiative proposal ‘Everyone Can Become an Amsterdammer.’

Language

Greg Shapiro jokes: “In the 1990s it was: ‘excuse me, can I order in English?’ Now it’s: No, you have to order in English!” The Boom Chicago comedian is perhaps the city’s best-known expat and author of the book How to Be Dutch: The Quiz. He read the PvdA proposal, and at first he thought: “who has the time for this? Those expats already work full time.” But then he thought about his own experience in Amsterdam in 1994.

“From the start, Saskia Maas (CEO of Boom Chicago) took us to the traditional Dutch brown café, of course a boat tour – and even the sauna. She taught us the basis of Amsterdam culture.” Soon Shapiro was taking language lessons and mingling with ordinary Amsterdammers. “True, I had less experience with volunteer work. But now I have adopted my local garbage container and I think that counts.” This was after seeing how Dutch people would let cardboard pile up in the street next to the container – after removing their address labels.

Culture shock

Shapiro sees the advantages of the proposal. How should expats start with integrating? “For one thing, never be caught bragging about your income. You’re only allowed to brag about how little you paid for something. At a Dutch birthday party, they’ll brag about how cheap the snacks were. ‘Oh, really? do tell!’”

“And arm yourself for Dutch honesty. As I like to say, ‘Dutch directness’ is an indirect way of saying rude.” Shapiro advises expats to embrace the culture shock. “Don’t pull back, lean in!” He remembers when he was new in town and he held the door for a Dutch woman when it was raining. “She looked at me weird and said: ‘we are not going to have sex!’ Here in Amsterdam, the rule is: do your own thing and stay out of my way.”

The comedian understands that Amsterdam residents feel discomfort about rising rents and housing prices. But he warns against generalizations. One expat is not the same as the other. “The word expat has become a dirty word, but sorry there’s been a housing shortage the whole time I’ve been here.” Amsterdam has always been a magnet for immigration. “Certainly since the Spanish Inquisition, Amsterdam has always been accommodating different waves of immigrants. Without those Sephardic Jews, no diamonds… Thank you, Spain!”

Cheese Sandwich

The most important tip from the Expat Expert is indeed to learn a bit of the Dutch language – so that you can truly complain about Amsterdam with fellow Amsterdammers. “That is bonding. ‘The weather app said it wasn’t going to rain, and then it rained on me! And the bridge was up, like it always is. And it’s cold, and I had to bike against the wind, and the street is under construction again. It’s the worst!’ And – if you do it in Dutch – that’s the moment Amsterdammers will welcome you and say ‘Yes, you are one of us.’”

Just like previous groups of immigrants, expats will also no doubt leave their mark on the city. Shapiro points to Boom Chicago’s influence on the Dutch comedy scene. “Without Boom Chicago, there would be no De Lamas,” he proudly points out. At the moment, he sees that there is huge wave of expats from India, who are bringing a lot of comedy talent with them. “Some of them are really funny. It’s nice.”

 

Here is the link to the full article:

https://www.telegraaf.nl/nieuws/2135885712/pvd-a-wil-dat-expats-ook-inburgeren-taal-is-belangrijk

For more on Greg’s book HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ

Shapiro Dutch Quiz Book

 

Shapiro Hosts Government Event NL

Shapiro Hosts Government Event NL

Shapiro Hosts Government Event for Netherlands Innovation Network

3 April, 2024

What an inspirational event for the NIN Netherlands Innovation Network’s 70th Anniversary (Oct. 2023)! I was honored to be host for the entire day.

The NIN is an outreach program to create public-private partnerships across borders – and make history. In 70 years of international networking, they can claim credit for the creation of CD’s, WiFi, water engineering, and a whole exposition floor full of more examples.

I started by singing happy birthday for the current staff of the NIN – which is part of the Dutch Ministry of Economic Affairs and Climate.

The Future is Bright

Next, we got a preview of the future. AI and Quantum computing. Agritech and Health / Life Sciences. But for me most interesting was Aviation and the race between SAF (Sustainable / Synthetic Aviation Fuel) and Alternate Power Trains (e-Jets). The good news is: pretty soon we won’t have to feel so bad about flying anymore.

I’ve hosted so many events where the theme is efficiency / downsizing. This was one event where the boss was telling the staff: “get more people to claim more of these subsidies!”

Celebrating 70 Years

Next we heard some Best-of stories from 70 years of Innovation Attaches from around the globe.

And the Minister was there – at the end. I was introduced to Micky Adriaansens.

And I introduced her to the main stage.

At the very end, organizer George van der Raaij was exhausted. But…

After the event, one of the Innovation Attaches insisted on a group photo WITH the minister.

I enticed the organizers to rally for ONE more group photo. Luckily, photographer Robin Utrecht was on board.

And there she is. Adriaansens still is the ‘demissionaire’ minister. And since our next minister will likely be from a new coalition of science-denying amateurs, the longer she stays on the better.

 

Long live the NIN! (and please make your theme song Trent Reznor & Nine Inch Nails)
https://netherlandsinnovation.nl/

For more Greg Shapiro Corporate Events, click here

Corporate Events

Shapiro Comedy Review Pepijn

Shapiro Comedy Review Pepijn

Shapiro Comedy Review Pepijn

21 March, 2024

GOOD NEWS!
a) Another solid review for the comedy nights I’ve been programming at Theater PePijn in the Hague.
https://artstalkmagazine.nl/english-stand-up-at-theater-pepijn-in-the-hague/

AND – b) next season we’ll be more frequent with one English comedy night per month. …Meanwhile, the next Pepijn’s Comedy Club in English will be 26 June…
https://www.diligentia-pepijn.nl/agenda/4432/various-stand-up-comedians/pepijn-s-comedy-club-in-english

Clearly, the Hague needs Comedy. English Comedy. That said, last night’s audience in the theater were 70% Dutch. As host, I did my favorite audience warm-up, which is a role-play. I ask the audience to pretend their Americans. Loud Americans. Americans in Las Vegas. If you ask Dutch people to make a lot of noise, you can only get them to go so far. But if you ask them to incorporate their opinions of other cultures, they give 110%.


Our first comedian was Nira Tal. Her opener is so sharp, and then she gets into Life in the Netherlands, being married to a Dutchman, solid set.


Next up was a friend of mine from Berlin, Rohit Bhatia. A former crime reporter from Mumbai, he now lives in Germany and brags about being “one of the few Indians in Europe that does not do IT.”

The Talent Spot was for Glodi Lugungu, who is no stranger to Theater PePijn, but this was his first time performing in English. English is his third language, and yet he managed to do some crowd work! His set brought the unexpected, magic.

Our headliner was Desiree Burch, who has been crushing it on British TV: BBC, Live at the Apollo, Too Hot to Handle on Netflix. But I got to know her from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. And I was the first person to hire her to come to “The Continent.” In fact, the last time I had her come tour the Netherlands with me was 10 years ago in 2014. In Pepijn. It was like a homecoming.

For more Pepijn Reviews

GREG SHAPIRO RETURNS TO PEPIJN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shapiro Votes in Global Primary

Shapiro Votes in Global Primary

Shapiro Votes in Global Primary

6 March 2024

Super Tuesday in the Netherlands! Time for Dutch American comedian Greg Shapiro to vote in the Global Presidential Primary 2024. The Dutch morning show ‘Goede Morgen Nederland’ called me up to ask if I was planning to vote – and how I was planning to vote. (Their channel WNL is more right-wing, so I was cautious.) Since I am still a citizen of the US, I said “yes, of course I’m voting (for Biden)!”

The Global Presidential Primary is fairly new. And so far the Democrat party is the only one organizing it. Until 2020 – if you wanted to vote in the presidential primaries at all – you had to send in an absentee request to register and for a ballot. Now, the Democrat party is organizing a number of in-person voting locations for American expats around the world. Amsterdam is one of the locations, specifically at Boom Chicago.

The TV interviewer asked if I could provide an American-style campaign event. She asked “do you maybe have flags?” Being the American Netherlander, YES I have flags. Here is the (one-minute) TV interview – in Dutch. Below is the transcript in English.

transcript in English:

Presenter: “One of the people who can vote in the Global Presidential Primary is ‘Mr. America first, Netherland second,’ comedian Greg Shapiro.”

Greg: “Yes, I’m celebrating today. I’m celebrating that as the American Netherlander, I can vote in person in the Global Presidential Primary.
I realize Joe Biden is not the ideal candidate. He’s way too old. But he’s the only Democrat who can say he beat Trump once already. And yes, he’s old, but he has more experience than anybody. He knows so many world leaders, NATO leaders, dictators. He knows Putin. For decades. That counts for something.
I have family in America. I have a sister, she has a daughter. And I’m sorry, but the Republicans with their crazy abortion laws. I feel like I have to protect my family if I can. So I’m voting for Biden.”

(as Biden) “Vote today if you want to vote for Biden.”

(as Trump) “And if you want to vote for Trump, you can’t. It’s Democrats only this time around.”

 

For more Greg Shapiro TV appearances, click here:
https://gregshapiro.nl/media/tv-appearances/

Shapiro Dutch Quiz Book

How to Be Dutch: THE QUIZ is back !

27 February, 2024

by Greg Shapiro, the American Netherlander

How to Be Dutch: THE QUIZ. All the questions that SHOULD be on the Dutch Citizenship Exam, according the expat expert who has been living in the Netherlands for close to 30 years. Critics loved The American Netherlander: 25 Years of Expat Tales. Now comes the perfect companion: the Shapiro Dutch Quiz Book.

How to Be Dutch makes you redefine the Netherlands you thought you knew.

  • “If Dutch people are so tolerant, why are they still judgmental as hell?”
  • “How should American parents react to a Dutch bedtime story called Sammy the Super Sperm?”
  • “If the Netherlands is the ‘Drug Capital of the World,’ why is it so hard to get antibiotics?”

 

Order here: https://hollandbooks.nl/product/how-to-be-dutch/

 

Reviews for How to Be Dutch: THE QUIZ (original printing, 2016)

How to Be Dutch plays deftly with clichés and knows how to transcend them. Even if you’ve never been to the Netherlands, Shapiro’s experiences will entertain.’
Access Magazine

‘Humorous columns, funny illustrations, hilarious photos and observations. Very nice book.’
Netherlands Library Council

‘A perfect toilet book.’
TROUW

‘Difficult topics are tackled with facts, sharp insights and often hilarious, personal anecdotes. At each turn of the page, you find yourself both laughing about and appreciating the Dutch. Greg Shapiro treats you to his version of the Dutch Assimilation Test. First, he analyzes the actual exam questions: “Every question tells a story,” Shapiro explains. And then he unveils “The Questions That Should Be on the Quiz.”
How to Be Dutch is accompanied by entertaining cartoons by illustrator Floor de Goede and hilarious photographs by the author.’
DutchNews.nl

Order here Shapiro Dutch Quiz Book:

https://hollandbooks.nl/product/how-to-be-dutch/

Or order via Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=how+to+be+dutch

 

Play the online Quiz!

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLccmkVw5sINoSiRMXi9S2xbwnRu_Qwb8t

Read more reviews?

https://gregshapiro.nl/media/theater-reviews-for-greg-shapiros-latest-shows/

Shapiro at Royal Comedy Event

Shapiro at Royal Comedy Event

Shapiro at Royal Comedy Event

28 november 2023

In Praise of Folly! This year’s Dutch Erasmus award was given to a comedian: Trevor Noah. It was an event full of Dutch comedy royalty – and actual Dutch royalty.

The event started with King Willem Alexander making jokes – and getting laughs! “I have the distinction of having sat on the lap of the previous winner, the last time it was a comedian: Charlie Chaplin in 1965. …Don’t worry, this is not a Dutch tradition.”

Trevor Noah actually made fewer jokes than expected – until the end: “I’m very proud that – after 220 years – a South African is able to take a few resources from the Netherlands back to the Cape.” He zinged the King!

Then he went and sat down in between the King and his mother, (former) Queen Beatrix. It was like watching a mini White House Press Correspondents’ Dinner.

After the Royal Comedy Event – SCHMOOZING WITH THE KING

If you’ve never been inside the Paleis op de Dam, I can recommend visiting when the Dutch royal family is hosting. I’ve attended events with King Willem Alexander before, but he’s usually whisked away quickly. This time the Dutch King seemed to want to stick around and chat with Dutch comedy royalty, like Claudia de Breij and Peter Pannekoek and even Andrew Moskos. “Is it harder to make jokes in a tense political climate? What kind of jokes go too far?” (And I was thinking “Is it all a bit too white?”) But then Soundos el-Ahmadi swooped in and took over. “Can I take a selfie?” Willem Alexander: “I’m not allowed to say yes.” Soundos: “That’s not ‘NO’!” So she broke open the floodgates (a true Dutch taboo), and then everyone got selfies with the King. I did mine modestly, from a distance. To make sure it would be the worst selfie ever:

THE GREEN KING

But I did talk to the King! I told him I might see him at the event I’m hosting next spring for the Dutch green startup Growy and the first harvest of their urban vertical farm in Amsterdam. He said “Sounds interesting,” which I relayed to the founder of Growy – who still doesn’t believe me.
(I also bumped into former Queen Beatrix! She is so little, and she was saying “I can’t see… Where is my son?” So I cleared a path for her. A couple people gave me eye daggers, but then they saw who was behind me, and they moved aside real quick. At the end I asked her for a photo, and she looked at me like I was crazy.)

And yes, I said hi to Trevor Noah. But I didn’t take a photo, because he was getting mobbed. Trevor, next time I see you I’ll say thanks for the inspiring words. Yes, comedy does connect people. Even if we oppose each other politically, when we share a laugh – in real time – we agree.

 


Thank you to the PraemiumErasmianum for the invite! Thank you to Boom Chicago for saving me a seat. And thank you to Erasmus the philosopher who was indeed Dutch. Without his writings, there would be no Reformation or Protestant religion. His “most famous” work is a socio-political satire called In Praise of Folly. Happy 65th Anniversary to the Erasmus Awards. You did well to pick a comedian.

King and Trevor Noah Make Jokes at Erasmus Award Ceremony
https://nos.nl/video/2499585-koning-en-trevor-noah-maken-grappen-over-en-weer-bij-uitreiking-erasmusprijs

For more tales of Greg performing for King Willem Alexander, check out the book – The American Netherlander: 25 Years of Expat Tales.

New Book

Dutch Election Comedy Show Reviewed

Dutch Election Comedy Show Reviewed

Review ‘PEP & GREG POLITICALLY INCORRECT’ – a Dutch Election Comedy Show, by ARTS TALK MAGAZINE

24 November, 2023

Thank you to ArtsTalk Magazine for coming to review our Dutch election comedy show 2023! Friday, 24 November. The election results were just 36 hours old, and we rewrote half the show: “Pep & I are 99% shocked the Netherlands voted for Geert Wilders… And we’re 1% delighted. For every time back in 2016 when Dutch people told us ‘You Americans are so stupid to vote for a right-wing, anti-immigrant populist with strange blond hair.’ Well? Now how does it feel!?”

So much new material, and yes the emotions were raw. Did the reviewer notice? Oh yes. Rose Fawbert Mills noted that the show could have been tighter. But let’s focus on her positive quotes:

“a satirical night of comedy reviewing the American and Dutch political systems was very appealing and not to be missed.”

“Greg’s Trump impersonation …very, very good.”

 

Multi-Media

“the use of visuals – photos, memes, video clips – was engaging and entertaining. It gave the show a very ‘current’ feel.”

 

“the overall the show was good. laughed out loud.”

‘Pep & Greg Politically Incorrect’ is our way of saying we think politics are being done incorrectly. We use the show to celebrate the worst of Dutch & US politics. In the US, President Biden is actually a great politician – but a terrible candidate. And in the Netherlands, there are so many political parties it’s almost like we could start our own party based on the people in the audience that night. SO that’s what we do. And – when Joe Biden gets kicked out as leader of the Democrat Party in the US – why not have him lead our new Dutch party?

Pep & Greg will be back for more dates at Boom Chicago. Potentially in December. And definitely in 2024.

Read the whole review here:
https://artstalkmagazine.nl/pep-greg-are-back-and-politically-incorrect-at-boom-chicago-in-amsterdam/


(Technician Emil adjusts the “Pep Bot”)

‘Pep & Greg Politically Incorrect’ the show
https://gregshapiro.nl/blog/pep-greg-politically-incorrect/

Shapiro Foreword Dutch Dictionary

Shapiro Foreword Dutch Dictionary

Greg Shapiro Wrote the Foreword for this Dutch Dictionary

13 November, 2023

Flashback to 2008:
Our good friends at DutchNews.nl were writing a guide to Dutch abbreviations, called the Dictionary of Dutchness: from ATV to ZZP’er. And I was asked to write the Foreword.
Here it is again: 

Foreword

Greetings, reader!

Welcome to this fine collection of bizarre words and phrases in the world’s best Nether-language: Dutch.

Many people will no doubt want to use this book as a practical guide to practical Dutch. But please consider its true value – as a sometimes hilarious exercise in explaining the charming and ridiculous abbreviations in the Dutch language.

Dutch people are among the tallest in the world. Fittingly, the words they use are often just as ‘long.’ If you have ever wondered how onroerendezaakbelasting can exist as a word, read on. If you have ever suspected that some short simple words like aso are actually hiding longer, more threatening words, then this book is for you.

The Dutch language seems obsessed with taking long words and then making them small and cute. Maybe that’s because Dutch culture has a minderwaardigheidscomplex (minority complex). Or – to make this word smaller and cuter too – MiWaCo (pronounced “me wacko”).

Even the famous Dutch fast food outlet FEBO is named after the location of its first-ever shop on the Ferdinand Bolstraat. They could better have named it FerBol – since the contents of a Dutch kroket resemble something a cat coughed up.

If I got any more passionate about this book, the vloekmonitor would call me a TBS-er, and I’d never get a VOG. To find out what I just said, read on!

Warning: By reading this guide to the Dutch language, you risk becoming more knowledgeable about Dutch than the Dutch themselves, who always lose to the Belgians on the TV quiz show Tien voor Taal.

In closing, when I say the Dutch language is charmingly ridiculous, please don’t believe me. Believe the thousands of Dutch people who feel the same way. But if you want them to admit it, you’ll have to first throw some Dutch language at them. Hopefully this book will help. And once they start answering back in Dutch lingo, this book will give you some idea of what the hell they’re talking about.

More

For the latest DutchNews, click here:
https://www.dutchnews.nl/

Greg Shapiro’s latest book is THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER: 25 Years of Expat Tales. (I hear it’s quite funny.)

New Book

Pep & Greg Politically Incorrect

Pep & Greg Politically Incorrect

Pep & Greg Politically Incorrect!

7 nov, 2023

Pep & Greg are back! This time we’re comparing the Worst of the 2023 Dutch election to the Worst of US election 2024.

The Netherlands: “We sent angry farmers with pitchforks to protest in the Hague…”

USA: “Hold my beer! (… storms Capitol on January 6.)”

 

To us, “Politically Incorrect” means politics being done incorrectly. USA, you have a 2-party system, which is very binary – almost bi-polar. And if the USA is bi-polar, then the Netherlands has multiple personality disorder.

I’ve been writing comedy with Pep Rosenfeld since we were in high school. (In 1985, we predicted Rupert Murdoch would take over TV stations and make America dumber.) We’ve written & performed political standup specials since 2001, including Trump Up the Volume – the show we were only supposed to perform in 2016.
Along the way, critics say:

‘Superior. Hilarious satire’ – Theaterkrant.nl

‘Greg is a scarily real fake Trump’ – Het Parool

From the Boom Chicago website:

Boom founder Pep Rosenfeld (Emmy nominated SNL writer) and Greg Shapiro (the famous ‘Netherlands Second’ Trump video) are back at Boom Chicago with their famous mix of comedy and current events.

They will skewer the latest from American and Dutch society. Will America elect a president in prison?

Will the cranky farmers take over the Netherlands?

Like usual, Pep and Greg will tackle it all and hold nothing back!

In a world filled with fake news, AI, conspiracy theories, guns, race issues, climate change, Mark Rutte retiring and Joe Biden not, Pep and Greg will make you laugh!

Pep and Greg Politically Incorrect is a new Boom Chicago show that is not just for those who follow America (though they will love it).

With standup comedy, improvisation and sharp commentary, the duo from Trump Up the Volume have created a new, smart show for anyone who likes to laugh.

PRAISE for Pep & Greg’s previous Boom Chicago shows:

‘Sharp satire and world class improvisation’ – De Volkskrant

‘Five stars! Greg and Pep have an incredible charisma and are very funny….’ — D Robbinson, Trip Advisor

Jokes were well-sculpted and wide-ranging. Engaging with the audience, they were quick, provocative and pugnacious.’  ArtsTalkMagazine.nl

TICKETS: CLICK HERE
https://boomchicago.nl/pep-and-greg-politically-incorrect/

More Greg reviews? Click here:
https://gregshapiro.nl/media/theater-reviews-for-greg-shapiros-latest-shows/

Shapiro ListPusher Standup Special

Shapiro ListPusher Standup Special

Greg Shapiro ‘Shapiro ListPusher Standup Special’ now on YouTube 

17 October, 2023

“If you’ve been living in the Netherlands long enough you can pronounce the word Gemeenteraadsverkiezingen (city council election), then maybe you can vote in the Gemeenteraadsverkiezingen!”
– from LISTPUSHER – the American Netherlander Joins Dutch Politics

In 2022, I was asked by a friend of mine in the Amsterdam City Council if I’d like to help out with his election campaign. In fact, this time his team wanted me not just as a volunteer – but as a symbolic candidate on the list. No, I would’t be at the top of the list – that was the job of the Lijsttrekker, or “List Puller.” I would be at the bottom of the list, hence the term “List Pusher.” And indeed, my job was to help convince potential voters that they should vote. Much like a Pusher Man: “Give it a try, the first vote is free…”

Based on my experience in the 2022 election, I wrote a standup special called LISTPUSHER: the American Netherlander Joins Dutch Politics. And now I’ve posted the video as a YouTube playlist, and now the playlist is complete!
“Give it a try, the first video is free…”
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLccmkVw5sINrlCi3YOgFomtGlCF_0ZC4u

BACKSTORY

But first I had to make sure this party was for me. I had to make sure it was the most ideologically suited. So I found the online voting guide called stemwijzer.
They have 30 questions, you agree or disagree, and by the end they tell you which party is for you. As an experiment, you can click ‘No opinion’ for every question, and the party they give you? D66. That’s my party!
(NB – does not apply for 2023 election.)

CREDITS

Created for the 2022 UICF Utrecht International Comedy Festival.
Audio & video via UICF. Producers Edo Berger, Jeroen Pater (ComedyHuis Utrecht).
Intro by Trista Mrema. And extra thanks to Comedyhuis in Utrecht!

For more Greg Shapiro Solo Shows and Standup Specials:
https://gregshapiro.nl/greg-shapiro-web-archive/