Introducing the New Business Casual

Introducing the New Business Casual: a Lockdown Zoom Call
From HELLO ZUIDAS magazine,
4 May

Well, it’s been about 6 weeks of working from home, with obvious downsides – but I want to take a moment to focus on some of the unexpected benefits we’ve discovered. With so much teleconferencing, we’ve all experienced a crash course in: Problem-solving; Outside-the-Box thinking; Communication Improvement…
(Wait, can everyone hear me? I can’t hear you. Raise your hand if you can hear me! Colleen, you’re backlit. Can you… okay, there’s your middle finger. Good.)

In many ways, our entire organization will never be the same again. The way we define productivity has evolved…
(Okay, can someone do something about the dog barking in the background? It’s very distracting. It’s frankly unprofessional. …And I see now it’s my dog. SORRY!) (Wow, these noise-canceling headphones are really good.)

Working from home, I’ve realized how much of our time in the office has been taken up by non-essential meetings. Meetings where I’m trying to quietly answer emails on the side and multi-task.

(No, Timmy – the hypotenuse is not 25, it’s the square root of 25. Don’t blame me, blame Pythagorus. Yes Timmy, fine, the Greeks are stupid.)
Sorry Alexis, that was not directed at you!

We’ve all realized how much productivity has been lost from long commutes, every day. Our carbon footprint is now so much lower. And yes, our awareness of cyber security has received some much-needed attention.
(Okay, who is drawing male genitalia on my screen? Are we being Zoom-bombed again? Is there any name in this conference we don’t recognize? ‘Yuri,’ I’m looking at you…)

In closing, we’ve grown as a team. We’ve expanded our consciousness. And I hope you realize I am never again wearing trousers to work.

Gregory Shapiro (b.1968) is the author of How to be Dutch: The Quiz and the voice of Trump on ‘Zondag Met Lubach.’ In 2020 he celebrates 25 years as corporate speaker and coach. And he’s now available for online interactive comedy and interactive coaching.