Gregory Shapiro Tag

May 17, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro Audiobook Preview – THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER

Greg Shapiro Audiobook Preview – THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER
17 May 2022

My third book THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER: 25 Years of Expat Tales came out in 2020.


And now that the lockdown is over, I’m getting serious about an audiobook. In the meantime, you can hear me doing a reading of my Origin Story in the Netherlands – in the link below.

From Chapter One: ‘Amsterdam Day One.’

The question was: “Would you be willing to give up your acting career in Manhattan to do comedy in Amsterdam for a start-up theater called Boom Chicago?” Since I was living on tips and paying rent via credit card, the answer was an immediate YES. When you’ve tried being broke in New Amsterdam, you might as well try being broke in Old Amsterdam. 

In 1994, my idea of Amsterdam was the one shared by most Americans, I suppose: Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Anne Frank – and then sex & drugs and downhill from there. In America, if we hear about the Netherlands at all, it’s that Dutch people are all drug-doing, drug-dealing, baby- killing, grandpa-murdering, left-handed pedophiles. Once I got here, I realized it’s not true! According to most Dutch people: “That’s Belgium.” 

Before leaving Schiphol Airport, I took care of my To-Do List of Now- Anachronistic technology. I went to a place called the GWK Currency Exchange to trade my US Dollars into a totally made-up currency called Guilders. Even at the time, Guilders seemed whimsically antiquated. One of the coins they gave me said ‘2-and-a-half.’ I supposed it was from back in the days when people counted on their two-and-a-half fingers. I also bought a public transport pass called a ‘strip card,’ since access to Dutch trams somehow involved ‘stripping.’ The alternative was ‘Riding Black’ – which to me sounded like a stripper name. And lastly, I procured a phone card for making phone calls at these things called ‘public phone booths.’ These triangular, glass enclosures were also known as ‘phone boxes,’ or – in Dutch – pissoirs.

WANT TO READ MORE?
HollandBooks.nl 

OR
Listen to me reading from my book here on the ARTS TALK RADIO podcast:

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May 4, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro Working with Dylan Haegens and – Roy Donders?

Greg Shapiro Working with with Dylan Haegens and – Roy Donders?
5 May 2022


It was an early call for a video shoot in Brabant, at the home of a famous Dutch celebrity. Based in Tilburg.

Whose kitchen features a Senseo coffee machine…

…and a leopard print kettle and toaster.
Can you guess who it is yet?

Yes, it’s Roy Donders. 

I was hired for a commercial shoot to work with Haegens Media.

As in Dylan Haegens, the biggest Dutch YouTuber ever. I thought “What a compliment! He knows me from my YouTube channel.” It turns out: he had not heard about my YouTube channel. But he knew me from my onscreen work as ‘an American in a suit.’ And that was my role: the American manager of a new app called Club Vegas. In a suit.


Roy Donders is known as a singer and stylist, and he has a reality show on Dutch TV with his mom. The two of them are very cute.

In the opening scene, I pitch the app to Roy and his mom. And the reason I liked this concept is that it’s not a straight-up commercial spot. Rather, it’s a behind-the-scenes ‘Making of’ story for a commercial spot. Clever. Well done, Dylan.

The app itself is NOT a gambling app. I made sure of that. It’s a gambling-themed app. And it is free. Okay yes, it has in-app purchases. But since the target audience is women aged 30-50, I think it’s ‘fair game.’

I made sure to give Roy Donders a copy of my book, and he’s going to give it to his Dutch-American friend. I also gave a copy to Dylan himself – the gifting video is coming soon.  

Oh, and Roy Donders is known for his love of worstenbroodjes, ie Dutch sausage pastries. This is a reputation he says he is now trying to live down. But it’s not working. The wrap party photo features the entire cast and crew seated on an enormous worstenbroodje.

It was great to work with Haegens Media – and with the green screen studio Key-ative. We’re already teaming up to work on more. Stay tuned…

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April 12, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro – Commercial & Character Voiceovers

Greg Shapiro – Commercial & Character Voiceovers
12 April, 2022

Many people know me as the voice of Trump in the ‘Netherlands Second’ video – which is great. But it’s also making me lose jobs.

So for everyone who has labeled me as ‘too comedic’ (business event), or ‘too crude’ (corporate video), here is an updated DEMO: ‘Greg Shapiro: Commercial and Character Voiceovers.’
Please note: ‘Commercial’ FIRST. ‘Character’ SECOND.

The Menu:
– ‘WILD’ nature film. (Dutch Voiceover: Andre van Duijn. English Voiceover: Greg Shapiro.)
– SHELL ‘New Energy Challenge’ Radio & TV, Netherlands.
– RABOBANK ‘Growing a Better World Together’ Radio & internet, Netherlands. 
– CHICKEN TONIGHT ‘The Terry Stinger Show’ Radio & TV, Netherlands.
– THEATER CARRé ‘Pippin / Broadway aan de Amstel’ series. Radio & TV, Netherlands.
– MEDIA MARKT ‘ePro TV’ Internal.
– DE WERELD DRAAIT DOOR. ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Light (Baseball Announcer).’ TV, Netherlands.
– ZONDAG MET LUBACH. ‘Netherlands Second’ video. TV Netherlands + Internet. 

That’s all the time I had for the demo. But so you know, I’ve also done the following Voiceovers:

– FRIESLAND MARKETING. ‘Fascinating Friesland,’ Internet.
– ALLIANZ DIRECT. (Dutch Voiceover: Jeroen van Koningsbrugge. English Voiceover: Greg Shapiro.)
– TELE2. Frank the Sheep. Internet.
– SANYO. Explainer video, ULT freezers. Internal.
– RANDSTAD. 50th Anniversary Podcast Host. Internal.
– WAKA WAKA Power. Host / Voiceover. Internet.
– THE QUICKEST QUIZ. Quiz App. Host / Voiceover. GooglePlay / App Store.
– CITIZEN M. Annual General Mtg. Host / Voiceover. Internal Livestream.
– PRINGLES. ‘Spanish Salsa.’ Radio, NL.
– COCA COLA. ‘Happiness Factory.’ Internal.

And last but not least. One of the first voiceover jobs I got in the Netherlands was back in 1994 for Gatorade. It was a tagline: “Gatorade. Because water just ain’t wet enough.” I gave it my most over-the-top, American DJ delivery. It was for a Dutch radio commercial, and it got a lot of airtime. 

In 1999, I was getting ready to get married to a Dutch woman – when I mentioned I had done that Gatorade voiceover. She recoiled in horror: “That was YOU?” The marriage was almost called off.

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April 6, 2022 In Blog

The EU Needs a Late Night Comedy Show | a TED Talk by Greg Shapiro

The EU Needs a Late Night Comedy Show | a TED Talk by Greg Shapiro
6 April, 2022

Now that Europe’s best-known comedian is busy doing his Winston Churchill impression in Ukraine, Europe needs a new Head Comedian. Putin’s invasion of Ukraine has given a big boost to European unity. Time to capitalize on our common sense of community?

Now more than ever, the EU needs a late night comedy show.

Granted, this argument is one I’ve been making for years. In fact it was in 2021 that I made this TED talk for TEDx VU Amsterdam: ‘The EU Needs a Late Night Comedy Show.’

It has been proven: Comedy helps cognition, especially in younger demographics – exactly the ones we need to engage. In America, a majority of 18-35 year-olds say they get most of their news from late night comedy programs, like The Daily Show. And for good reason! Jokes engage emotion. Emotion aids cognition.

More specifically, a study from the University of Pennsylvania concludes that humor helps people remember news better. And it makes them more likely to share the news with others. (watch the video)
Maybe there’s a reason for the popularity of comedy shows like The Daily Show, The Late Show, and Late Night with Seth Meyers (my former colleague).

WHY IS THERE NO LATE NIGHT COMEDY SHOW FOR THE EU?
In a way, there is. In 2017, Dutch late night comedian Arjen Lubach achieved international success with his viral video ‘Netherlands Second,’ (for which I provided the voice). There are German late night comedians like Jan Boehmermann and Oliver Welke.

Personally, I’ve hosted my a late night comedy show in the Netherlands: COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS: Because Dutch News is News Too. I’ve even hosted a YouTube version of a show called THE UNITED STATES OF EUROPE: Giving EU leaders the respect they deserve by ridiculing them on a regular basis.

My mission was to create a network of EU comedy correspondents. I would still love to make this dream a reality. All I would need is a generous subsidy from an intra-governmental agency that’s happy to throw away money on hopeless projects in arts & culture.
…THAT’S THE VERY DEFINITION OF THE EU. 

If you fund it, I will come.

The United States of Europe: MAKING FUN OF THE EU, THE AMERICAN WAY. 

WATCH:

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March 25, 2022 In Blog

HOW NOT TO LIVESTREAM: a Greg Shapiro Online Mini-Show

HOW NOT TO LIVESTREAM: a Greg Shapiro Online Mini-Show

25 March, 2022

Comedian Greg Shapiro follows up his tutorial ‘How NOT to Zoom’ with a new livestream mini show: HOW NOT TO LIVESTREAM.

Now that we’re all ‘Post-Covid,’ who knew The New Normal would still include Working from Home? Well, surely by now we’ve all mastered the basics of Home Studio video conferencing… NOPE. 

Time for a new training strategy: HOW NOT TO LIVESTREAM. Kick off your next online meeting with 5-10 minutes of ‘Sharing WORST Practice.’ Whether you use Zoom, Teams, or whatever – Shapiro’s interactive presentation will parody the Seven Deadly Sins of video conferencing.
Including: Flimsy Webcams; Unflattering Angles; Terrible Lighting; Embarrassing Backgrounds; Green Screen Fails; and yelling at your kids when you think you’re on mute. 

Do yourself a favor and start your next video meeting with a guaranteed icebreaker. How NOT to Livestream. Because sometimes the best HOW-TO is How NOT to.

“Hi, it’s me Greg Shapiro. Here to remind you how livestreaming from your home studio can be easy and fun! [knocks over camera]

Now that we’re all working from home, your internet connection has never been more important. So give your cable a little jiggle to make sure it’s secure. [livestream froooo-zen]

If you’d like a pro-tip life hack, you can make sure that your lighting makes you as attractive as possible. Me? I’m using a diffuser, which I got from the camera shop for just €60. [injures self with fold-out prop]

Who needs an expensive home studio lighting system, when you can rig a series of desk lamps tho this clothes hanger? And who needs an expensive laptop stand, when you can use this simple household ladder? [displays embarrassingly amateur setup]

Now, if you want to look really professional, you need to make sure you have a virtual background. And that means you need to get a green screen! [injures self with fold-out green screen]

Once you’ve got your green screen and your lighting in place, it’s time to pick an appropriate background – and start livestreaming, like a pro.
[shows wildly inappropriate virtual background]

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March 7, 2022 In Blog

English Language Amsterdam Election Debate – Hosted by Greg Shapiro

English Language Amsterdam Election Debate – Hosted by Greg Shapiro
7 March, 2022

Hey Expats & Internationals! You might be able to vote in the Amsterdam City Council Elections – aka the Gemeenteraadsverkiezingen.
Basically, if you’ve been living here long enough you can pronounce the term Gemeenteraadsverkiezingen, then maybe you can vote in the Gemeenteraadsverkiezingen.

Election Day is next Wednesday, 16 March. And on 9 March I hosted the ONLY English-language election event in Amsterdam. Here are some highlights.

As the host, I started out with a comedy version of the basics: If American politics is quite Bipolar, then Dutch politics has Multiple Personality Disorder. Even in Amsterdam – with only 45 seats in city council – there are 15 different parties. And there are 26 parties running in the upcoming election! That means there are 11 parties that have never existed before – and may never exist again. That’s the nature of Dutch politics: the smaller the country, the more they like to disagree.


Onstage last night we had three parties from the current city council coalition: GroenLinks; D66 & Labor PvdA. We also had VOLT – who have never campaigned for city council before. And we had VVD who are in city council – but not in the ruling coalition.


As the host, I welcomed the 100+ people in the audience, and I subtly switched from my native English to ESL ‘English as a Second Language.’ That also helped the five politicians on the panel, who were each rather nervous about their level of English. As expected, everyone’s English was FINE… with a few exceptions.

“If you live in an old house, you need isolation. The city needs to provide isolation. Isolation for everyone!” I quickly pointed out that in English it’s called INSULATION. That’s very different. 

HOUSING
There’s more housing coming! Pre-fab houses, 3-D printed houses, and floating houses. And if you’re smart you’ll get a floating house, because this city is going to be underwater soon.

SUSTAINABILITY
Thanks to Putin, everyone in Europe is now desperate to get off of fossil fuels. GroenLinks wants more solar, more insulation and even 6-7 wind turbines on Amsterdam land. I had to ask Rutger from GroenLinks “Why has Amsterdam been cutting down so many trees?” And admitted “It’s bad for optics,” but the truth is many trees that were planted 30 – 40 years ago were not well planned, and now their root systems are destroying canal walls, city streets and foundations. They’ve been replanting new, proper trees. But that doesn’t stop Thierry Baudet from putting tree stumps in his campaign photos.

ARTS / DIVERSITY
Well, since GroenLinks & D66 chose to hold this event at Podium Mozaiek, I guess that shows they support diversity as well as the arts. Anything is better than the place they had four years ago – the Marktkantine. Yuck.

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March 3, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro New Comedy Show LISTPUSHER at Utrecht Int’l Comedy Festival

Greg Shapiro New Comedy Show LISTPUSHER at Utrecht Int’l Comedy Festival
3 March, 2022

Based on my experiences as a real-live (fake) politician – I’ve created a new 30-minute show called LIST PUSHER.

“List Pusher?” What’s that?

THE ORIGIN STORY
A friend of mine on Amsterdam city council asked me “Could you help us on our campaign to reach out to the expats and internationals?” And I said yes. The upcoming city council elections – the gemeenteraadsverkiezingen – are the one time expats and non-Dutch citizens can vote. Basically, if you’ve lived in the Netherlands long enough to pronounce the term gemeenteraadsverkiezingen, then maybe you can vote in the gemeenteraadsverkiezingen.

But then he asked “this time what if we don’t just have you as a volunteer – but as a symbolic candidate on the candidate list?” And – here’s how my big my ego is – I said “But wait – what if I win? If everybody votes for me, will I have to be on city council?” The answer is technically yes – but I’d be candidate 49 on a list of 50. The so-called Lijstduwer – the ‘List Pusher.’ So now I’m a pusher man. Telling expats “The first vote is free.”

WHO SHOULD I VOTE FOR
Before I could become a candidate for this party, I had to make sure it was the right party for me. Politically, I’m not too far right, but also not too far left – kind of in the middle. So I found the online voting guide called Stemwijzer. They have 30 questions, and you agree or disagree, and at the end they tell you which party is for you. As an experiment, I clicked ‘No opinion’ for every question, and the party they gave me was: D66. Because they’re right in the middle. And I thought “YES! That’s the party for me.”

(Also D66 are pro-Europe, pro-gay rights, pro-bilingual education and pro dual citizenship. You should vote for them. But don’t vote for me! I know what happens when they put a comedian in charge – the next thing you know you’re fighting off Russian missiles.)

VOTE ABM: (anyone but me)!

And come see my show:
LIST PUSHER. UTRECHT INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL
Friday 4 March
Saturday 5 March

https://utrechtinternationalcomedyfestival.nl/
https://www.ticketmaster.nl/event/big-binge-of-comedy-friday-tickets/275019

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February 7, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro Presents: HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ SHOW

Greg Shapiro Presents: HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ SHOW
7 Feb., 2022

Hi, it’s me Greg Shapiro – the American Netherlander. I grew up in America first, and I moved to the Netherlands second. Along the way, I took the Dutch citizenship exam, and I wrote a couple books on the subject – including HOW TO BE DUTCH: the Quiz. All the questions that SHOULD be on the Dutch citizenship exam, by the American Netherlander who’s been living here 25 years.


And now it’s time to play HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ SHOW!

Question:
Which nationality traditionally scores the worst on the Dutch citizenship quiz?
Answer:
Dutch people.

SAMPLE QUESTION:
How many times does the Dutch national anthem reference other countries? 

Answer: 3.
In the opening line it starts talking about Germany.
Next up is Orange, which is a city in France.
And in the final line – just when the the world is thinking “surely this will be the name of their own country” – NOPE! ‘Spain.’
And guess which 3 countries have ever invaded and occupied the NL?
Germany, France and Spain.
Meaning – It’s not so much an anthem as it is a self-hating checklist.
And this explains why the Netherlands never come in first place in the World Cup. 

HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ SHOW!
“I take the Netherlands a little bit on the hook, yes?”

Greg Shapiro (Boom Chicago, Comedy Central, ‘Zondag Met Lubach’) has written a book about Dutch culture: HOW TO BE DUTCH: the Quiz. As a comedian, Shapiro starts by looking at the questions on the actual Dutch citizenship exam. Sometimes a simple analysis of the actual questions reveals more about the Dutch mentality than the exam ever intended. Next, Shapiro introduces his own exam, with questions that will test your knowledge on Dutch pride, Dutch stereotypes, Dutch politics – and yes Sinterklaas.

Shapiro has written so many quiz questions, he can tailor-make a quiz for your event. Previous quizzes have featured: Dutch Office Culture; Dutch Housing and Dutch Sustainability. 

Quiz Shows are generally 15- 30 minutes. Tailoring is available, Pre-meetings are available.

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January 26, 2022 In Blog

GREG SHAPIRO – HOUSE EXPAT OF DUTCH POLITICS

GREG SHAPIRO – HOUSE EXPAT OF DUTCH POLITICS

26 Jan., 2022

After utterly failing to appear on Dutch TV reality shows like Wie Is de Mol and Expeditie Robinson, I have decided to take part in the biggest reality show of them all: Dutch politics.

In March of 2022, the Netherlands will hold nationwide local elections, and I will be appearing on the list for D66 in Amsterdam. Every candidate list has a leader at the top: the lijsttrekker (list-puller). My position on the list is more symbolic. I will appear at the bottom of the list – what is known as a lijstduwer (list pusher). Yes, I’m your pusher man.

Unlike other Dutch elections, the local elections (Gemeenreraadsverkiezingen) allow non-Dutch citizens to vote. And that is why Amsterdam D66 contacted me – to shamelessly exploit my connections in the expat and international community. To remind people – like you – you can vote! And you don’t have to vote for my party. There are a number of websites where you can answer a questionnaire to find out which party is right for you. (see below) As long as you vote!
After all, the D in D66 stands for Democrats. If you vote, I’m happy.

Why D66? Well, it started in 2014 when my friend Jan Paternotte (D66) asked me to join the team. Paternotte was actively supportive of dual citizens like me. He was also strongly pro-Europe (like me). So I said yes. Also, Jan helped promote my book, so I know he has excellent judgment and taste.

Since then, (since 2006 honestly) I’ve been known to help out on D66 campaigns. So much so that Amsterdam’s Het Parool describes me as ‘Expat à la Maison’ …
https://www.parool.nl/amsterdam/het-gevecht-om-de-stem-van-de-expat-is-begonnen-in-amsterdam~b48e0a9d/

…or ‘House Expat.’ Sounds a little bit like ‘House Elf,’ or worse… But I’ll take it.

Here’s the English version:
https://www.dutchnews.nl/news/2022/01/every-vote-counts-political-parties-in-amsterdam-target-the-expat-voter/

And here’s the questionnaire to determine which of the – way too many – parties is right for you.
|https://verkiezingen.stemwijzer.nl/

HAPPY VOTING!

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January 19, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro Hosts Second ‘CitizenM TV Show’

Greg Shapiro Hosts Second ‘CitizenM TV Show’
19 January, 2022

Previously, on CitizenM TV…
CitizenM Hotels: “Greg, help! Our annual offsite event is going to have to be a livestream. Can you host it and make sure it’s not boring?”
Greg: “Yes And – What if the interviews feel like the executives are on a TV show?”

CUT TO – December, 2021.
CitizenM: “Greg, help! Again, our annual event is going to have to be a livestream! Are you available for…”
Greg: “CitizenM TV – Episode 2? YES.”

Again, CitizenM HQ hired Dutch production company GRNDPA to make the livestream something special.

PRO-TIP: Your Livestream doesn’t need to be Live! Again, we had 3 days of production, with plenty of time for me to meet the C-level execs and get to know everyone – and get the best out of everyone.

Episode 2 didn’t just use 4k screens to patch in remote guests. This time we had an enormous video wall.

The script went high-concept for Episode 2. This time, I got to demonstrate the new contactless user experience with the help of Kabuki / Ninja actors in morph suits. (Actually, they were employees on the CitizenM team, and they were surprisingly good.)

 

 

And I got to play the World’s Worst motivational speaker – a cross between Ted Lasso’s alter ego Led Tasso and Yosemite Sam.

Most importantly, I convinced the lighting team to let me use the LED tubes for their obvious purpose: light saber battles with the director Victor Zwiers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The priority on-set was to keep the vibe of a normal offsite event, as much as possible. Guess what? Top management is always going to be too dry – in the first take. But with a couple of retakes – and me more actively engaging them – the managers managed to loosen up and feel like they were talking to their team, in person.

Again, the studio set required a negative Covid test – hence, we employed the ‘Bubble’ protocol. And we were able to give at least a one-arm hug. Hopefully next time we can do it in person!

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