green Tag

Greg Shapiro Dutch Direct

Dutch Direct vs the Elephant in the Room

Greg Shapiro: ‘Dutch Direct vs the Elephant in the Room’
11 October, 2022

 

As ‘Dutch direct’ as you think may be, it still helps to have an American by your side. Dutch culture prides itself on being ‘Dutch direct,’ which is an indirect way of saying ‘rude.’ Sometimes I get hired by Dutch companies to host their events, to help ‘bridge the cultural gap’ between the older Dutch management and their mostly younger, more international staff. Practically, that means I get to share the stage with them and demonstrate how to not get upset when they say ‘Dutch direct’ things like “I wouldn’t have chosen that outfit” or “Ha ha – that joke didn’t work.”

Lesson Number One: start off by removing the tie.

To show how well integrated I am, I will sometimes respond to Dutch directness by teasing Dutch people right back. It makes the boss more human! There was one Dutch CEO who had a real ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ attitude. He liked to answer questions by saying “Okay, look…” But he was speaking English as a second language. So frequently – instead of saying look – he would use the Dutch word kijk. Luckily, he didn’t pronounce it the ethnic slur way. He said it more like “cake.” So I pointed out that – if he was going to start off every point talking about cake, there had better be some cake by the end of the day. (There was.)

DUTCH DIRECT + Yank Joke

For another event – for another ‘Dutch direct’ CEO – there was an elephant in the room. That’s partly why they’d hired me: to help keep the day loose and informal, so the audience would feel confident enough to ask the difficult questions. And the employees did ask difficult enough questions, about sustainability,  about equal pay, about fair hiring… But then came a question about accusations of fake sustainability claims, ie ‘greenwashing.’ The elephant had arrived! 

The CEO explained that he took the greenwashing accusations very seriously. He admitted that just a couple years ago those accusations would have been partly true. I said “I was here a couple years ago, and I can confirm! The last time I hosted for you guys, you had one HR manager saying ‘sustainability would be a good idea,’ and now she’s on the board as the first ever Chief Sustainability Officer. …And if anyone still comes with complaints that Dutch companies aren’t green enough, remind them that Shell Oil is now located in the UK.”

For more on Greg corporate events: 
https://gregshapiro.nl/blog/greg-shapiro-hosts-citizenm-tv-season-2/

Greg Shapiro on EditieNL “Come the Netherlands, We’ll Blow You Away”

Greg Shapiro on EditieNL “Come the Netherlands, We’ll Blow You Away”
12 January, 2022

The other day I got a phone call from Dutch RTL News, asking for an interview. “What do you think of this Washington Post article about Uitwaaien?” I checked the link, and there it was: ‘Forget hygge, it’s time for uitwaaien’ – aka ‘walking in the wind.’

Hygge you may remember as the Danish term for ‘enjoying winter coziness.’ And last winter there was an American flirtation with the Norwegian tradition of ‘open-air living’ friluftsliv. Could the Dutch tradition of uitwaaien be the next big thing in the US?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/travel/2022/01/06/netherlands-lifestyle-trend-uitwaaien/

I was happy to tell RTL’s show EditieNL that I am a fan of uitwaaien. In fact, where was I on New Years Day? I was with my family walking the dog in the Dutch dunes, in nature, and yes in the wind. What better way to start the new year than to let to old one be blown away – along with your hangover from the night before. (But don’t expect me to take part in the Nieuwjaarsduik where you celebrate 1 January by jumping into the North Sea… those people are crazy.)

EditieNL asked if I’d be willing to meet them at Zandvoort for an interview – and some real-time uitwaaien. I said “Yes AND – I’m bringing my dog.” I have a 6 year-old Black Labrador, who loves walking on the beach! And conveniently – just as the interview began – she pooped, and I had to pick it up. And so, for the entire time I’m on camera, you can see me walking in the wind with a little red sack of poop. Uitwaaien and hondenpoep opruimen. A true Dutch tradition.

https://www.rtlnieuws.nl/editienl/laatste-videos-editienl/video/5280514/nederlandse-traditie-uitwaaien-overgewaaid-naar-de

I May Have Just Saved You from a €95 Fine

I May Have Just Saved You from a €95 Fine!

Lockdown cardboard is overflowing on the streets of Amsterdam! Ever wonder what would happen if an entire city would start working from home, ordering everything online and then dumping their used cardboard boxes all at once? Welcome to Pandemic 2021.
In Amsterdam, the annual Garbage Collection fee went up by a huge amount this year. But the pace of garbage collection hasn’t noticeably increased. One thing that HAS increased is the Handhaving / BOA’s and civil servants who give out cash penalties to anyone caught leaving their garbage / recycling outside the underground garbage containers. Never mind that they’re often choked up and overfull! The sign says ‘IF this container is full, it is your responsibility to continue on to the next available one.’
I had one neighbor tell me she went to recycle her cardboard, and she ended up going to 5 different containers before she gave up and put her stuff right next to a container. The next day, she realized she had left her address on one of the pieces of cardboard. How did she realize? Because she had uniformed police at her door to give her a €95 euro fine.

GARBAGE LIBERATOR
I have a paper recycling container across from my house. While it frequently seems full, often it’s simply jammed. If only I could get the key to that side panel… And then one of my neighbors told me – you can get that key by adopting a garbage container. SO I did it! In January, 2021. I got the key to open the side panel and clear the paper jam, just like a good old copier machine at the office.
Last weekend, there was even an article in Het Parool about the amount of people who are adopting containers. Like me! But now I’ve realized something extra: my key also works on any number of underground containers in my neighborhood. SO when I’m out walking my dog, and we see a paper recycling container that seems to be overflowing… I can check to see if it’s just jammed. In the case of this video, yes it was only jammed. SO I unblocked the jam, I tossed in the excess cardboard, and I saved any number of people from getting a €95 penalty. Including Chygall White, the physical trainer, who ordered from Bol.com. SO now Chygall and I are connected on Linkedin. And maybe next time she’s ordering a book online, she can order mine.
WATCH:

GREEN CRED MAKES DUTCH RED IN THE FACE – my final column for HELLO ZUIDAS

GREEN CRED MAKES DUTCH RED IN THE FACE

For Greg’s final column in Hello Zuidas, he wrote an entire new book. The following is an excerpt from Shapiro’s third book THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER: 25 Years of Expat Tales, available internationally.

When you’re living under sea level, perhaps the term sustainability takes on extra meaning. There are so many Dutch achievements in the area of duurzaamheid that you’d expect Dutch folks to show more national pride. And yet – when it comes to national pride – the Netherlands has been described as ‘the least chauvinistic country in Europe.’ Maybe that’s partly why the ‘Netherlands Second’ video was such a hit here. Dutch mentality is like: “We don’t need to be first. …But we are definitely better than the rest.”

In essence, the Dutch don’t like to brag – so I’ll do it for them.

Internationally, yes the Dutch are quietly known for their masterful water engineering. But you don’t see the Delta Works on Dutch t-shirts. You don’t see the term Afsluitdijk on bumper stickers. And what about the Maeslantkering? These gates that protect the Port of Rotterdam are an engineering marvel, each gate as large as the Eiffel Tower. But – unlike the Eiffel Tower – you don’t see them on keychains, coffee mugs or refrigerator magnets. As far as tourists are concerned, Dutch culture is summed up by the national symbol of the cannabis leaf. Meaning, by default, the most popular form of Dutch water engineering is ‘the bong.’

A Dutch friend of mine was working at a consultancy in the US. He told me the story of how Dutch engineering firm Royal Haskoning was asked to help the US Army Corps of Engineers to prevent hurricane damage to the US coastline. Which was a Big Deal. But reportedly the Dutch management refused to issue a press release, because that would be bragging, aka opscheppen. And in Nederland, if you are ever caught opscheppen, then Zwarte Piet kidnaps you in a sack and takes you to Spain, 

Sustainable investing might not be terribly sexy to most people, but apparently it’s sexy in Zuidas. According to iAmsterdam: In 2020, a number of Dutch investment firms topped the ShareAction global sustainability rankings. And the Global Green Finance Index named Amsterdam Zuidas as one of world’s best green finance centres. Nederland, take more credit! 

I once spoke at the launch of a book of infographics on the SDG Sustainable Development Goals. It was an impressive achievement and an impressive stage. But – one after another – the speakers chose to stand just outside the spotlight. I literally had to step in and nudge the director of the project into the light so the photographer could get a proper shot of him. Next time I’ll just tell him, “It costs a lot of energy to shine that light. The sustainable choice would be to stand in it.”

Nederland, you may spend your lives digging channels in the ground, but you don’t have to act like Mole People. 

 

Gregory Shapiro (b.1968) is the author of THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER: 25 Years of Expat Tales and the voice of Trump on ‘Zondag Met Lubach.’ In 2020 he celebrates 25 years as corporate speaker and host. And his mini-show ‘How NOT to Zoom’ is now available for a 5-minute guest appearance in your next videoconference. www.gregshapiro.nl


Thank you to Davien Fotografie for the profile pic!