Holland Tag

October 11, 2022 In Blog

Dutch Direct vs the Elephant in the Room

Greg Shapiro: ‘Dutch Direct vs the Elephant in the Room’
11 October, 2022

As ‘Dutch direct’ as you think may be, it still helps to have an American by your side. Dutch culture prides itself on being ‘Dutch direct,’ which is an indirect way of saying ‘rude.’ Sometimes I get hired by Dutch companies to host their events, to help ‘bridge the cultural gap’ between the older Dutch management and their mostly younger, more international staff. Practically, that means I get to share the stage with them and demonstrate how to not get upset when they say ‘Dutch direct’ things like “I wouldn’t have chosen that outfit” or “Ha ha – that joke didn’t work.”

Lesson Number One: start off by removing the tie.

To show how well integrated I am, I will sometimes respond to Dutch directness by teasing Dutch people right back. It makes the boss more human! There was one Dutch CEO who had a real ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ attitude. He liked to answer questions by saying “Okay, look…” But he was speaking English as a second language. So frequently – instead of saying look – he would use the Dutch word kijk. Luckily, he didn’t pronounce it the ethnic slur way. He said it more like “cake.” So I pointed out that – if he was going to start off every point talking about cake, there had better be some cake by the end of the day. (There was.)

DUTCH DIRECT + Yank Joke

For another event – for another ‘Dutch direct’ CEO – there was an elephant in the room. That’s partly why they’d hired me: to help keep the day loose and informal, so the audience would feel confident enough to ask the difficult questions. And the employees did ask difficult enough questions, about sustainability, about equal pay, about fair hiring… But then came a question about accusations of fake sustainability claims, ie ‘greenwashing.’ The elephant had arrived!

The CEO explained that he took the greenwashing accusations very seriously. He admitted that just a couple years ago those accusations would have been partly true. I said “I was here a couple years ago, and I can confirm! The last time I hosted for you guys, you had one HR manager saying ‘sustainability would be a good idea,’ and now she’s on the board as the first ever Chief Sustainability Officer. …And if anyone still comes with complaints that Dutch companies aren’t green enough, remind them that Shell Oil is now located in the UK.”

For more on Greg corporate events:
https://gregshapiro.nl/blog/greg-shapiro-hosts-citizenm-tv-season-2/

September 27, 2022 In Blog

COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

27 Sept., 2022

HBD, CCN! It was 15 years ago that Boom Chicago comedy theater launched Comedy Central News, with your host: Greg Shapiro. “Comedy Central News: Because Dutch News Is News Too.”

In 2007, Viacom’s Comedy Central launched its first channel in the Netherlands. The Dutch producers wanted to create a new TV show for the occasion – a mix of The Daily Show and a comedy sketch show. And they liked me when I was presenting the ‘Boom Chicago News’ for a TV pilot we’d made. So Boom Chicago got the call to create a show, and we came in with a concept that was basically “What if The Muppet Show had a Weekend Update?”

CCN COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS SEASON ONE, EP 23

CCN AND EMMY AWARD WINNER BRENDAN HUNT

It was quirky, it was daily, and it featured my Boom Chicago colleague Lauren Flans doing remote segments about Dutch culture. Lauren would go on to appear on MTV’s Wild ‘N Out and Epic Rap Battles of History.
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1508641/

Our executive producer – and 2008 head writer – was Pep Rosenfeld, who had actually written for ‘Weekend Update’ on Saturday Night Live and been nominated for an Emmy.
https://boomchicago.nl/pep-rosenfeld/

And the 2007 Head Writer was Brendan Hunt, who is now known as co-creator of the Emmy-winning series TED LASSO. (You might know him as TED LASSO’s ‘Coach Beard.’)
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0402360/

(Here is Brendan Hunt with some of his early beard work.)

A DUTCH NEWS SHOW IN ENGLISH

It remains amazing to me that we were able to make a TV show – for the Netherlands – in English. At that point, Dutch commercial television was experimenting with more and more English (Dutch publicly funded TV shows not so much). A few years before CCN, there was a brief moment when Boom Chicago was being pitched to create a Dutch version of Whose Line Is It Anyway – for a Dutch public broadcaster. But our Dutch language skills were niet zo goed. That pitch went on to become the smash hit De Lama’s, starring Ruben van der Meer – who started his career working in the Boom Chicago kitchen. The host of De Lama’s was Patrick Lodiers.

Side note: Patrick Lodiers went on to host a 2007 late night comedy news show called De Nieuwste Show – premiering the exact same month as our show, CCN. You know that story about the Burger King opening up right next to the McDonalds, and miraculously both businesses saw improved success? Yeah, that did not happen in our case. But interestingly, one of the commentators on De Nieuwste Show was a young Arjen Lubach. And we would go on to collaborate for some quality TV content – about 10 years later.

https://mashable.com/video/netherlands-trump-viral-video

CCN COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS PROMO SPOT

CCN COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS – IN GREG SHAPIRO ARCHIVE

https://gregshapiro.nl/portfolio_page/greg-shapiro-comedy-central-news/

MEDIA LINKS CCN COMEDY CENTRAL NEWS

https://www.volkskrant.nl/cultuur-media/comedygezelschap-boom-chicago-ook-op-tv-te-zien~b65dd6c7/

https://www.parool.nl/nieuws/boom-chicago-ook-op-tv~bebc3628/

https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedy_Central_News

BOOM CHICAGO CCN CREW
Producer: Andrew Moskos
Segment Producer: Christy Ju
Exec Producer / Head Writer: Pep Rosenfeld
Directors: Matt Chapman, Becky Nelson
Presenter / Writer: Greg Shapiro
Presenter / Writer: Lauren Flans
Writer / Super Catty Celebrity Bitch: Michael Diederich
Head Writer / Ensemble S1: Brendan Hunt
Writers & Ensemble:
Lolu Ajayi
Rob AndristPlourde
Hilary Bauman
Jen Burton
Hans Holsen
Brian Jack
Mike OT
Jeffrey Spalburg
Andel Sudik

Dutch Producers:
Maurice Hols
Kaja Wolffers
Geert-Martin van der Jagt

18 Sept., 2008

September 20, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro EditieNL ‘Going Dutch’

Greg Shapiro EditieNL: ‘Going Dutch’ with Tikkie (and their new tool ‘Groupie’)
20 Sept., 2022

In August, Dutch American comedian Greg Shapiro was asked to comment on the Dutch app Tikkie (and their new tool ‘Groupie’) by EditieNL on Dutch RTL.

From the TV interview:

“‘Going Dutch’ means to spilt the check. Did the concept originate in the Netherlands? Apparently so. I remember coming here 25 years ago, thinking ‘What’s so Dutch about that?’ And the common logic is ‘It proves Dutch people are cheap!’ It also proves that you’re practical. But indeed, when I split the check with Dutch people, they can be very precise.”

“I looked it up: the average amount for a Dutch Tikkie (payment request, like Venmo) is €37.70. There’s no rounding up, like ‘oh, let’s make it 38.’ NO: exactly 37 euros – AND 70 CENTS. Is that distinct about Dutch culture? I don’t know. Not all Dutch people are such mierenneukers. But there are quite a few. Mierenneukers. In America, we might say ‘nitpickers.’ But Dutch people prefer the term ant-fu**ers. It’s just a wonderfully Dutch term.”

From the online article:

“‘In America there is also a payment app [Venmo], but it is not often used for small amounts. That is something typically Dutch,’ says American/Dutch actor Greg Shapiro to Editie NL. ‘Such careful calculating, and down to small amounts? I only know that from the Netherlands. Like when one person did not order the appetizer, so they’re going to itemize their part of the bill.’

“According to him, reclaiming fuel costs is also something typically Dutch. ‘At the same time, it is true: everything is becoming more expensive. So such a small amount may be a bit ridiculous, but it makes sense now.’”

Deleted comments:

“Nice that Tikkie (the Dutch Venmo) now has a new function for groups. It’s called ‘Groupie.’ Never mind that the name Groupie is already taken. But maybe that’s the best example! If you and your 3 girlfriends want to go see a boyband, then one of you pays for the concert tickets, one pays for the bribe to get backstage, another pays for the hotel rooms, and the fourth pays for the pregnancy tests after.”

“Now that I think about it, if there’s one person who never orders the appetizer – it’s ME. Many times I’ve been out to eat with Pep and Andrew from Boom Chicago, and they want to order the menu to try a bit of everything. I’m the one who’s like ‘I’m on kind of a budget here.’ So I have to admit: when I go out to eat with a group, I’m the one saying ‘I’ve itemized my part of the bill.’ I’VE TRULY GONE DUTCH.”

– Interviewer: Joachim van Maaren

RTL article feat. shapiro quote (in Dutch)
https://www.rtlnieuws.nl/tech/artikel/5326880/tikkie-betaalapp-nieuwe-functie-abn-amro-wie-betaalt-wat

In Jan., 2022, Shapiro also got a call from EditieNL to comment on the Dutch tradition of Uitwaaien – aka ‘walking in the wind.’

Greg Shapiro on EditieNL “Come the Netherlands, We’ll Blow You Away”

July 5, 2022 In Blog

America Needs a Divorce – Greg Shapiro for ‘240 Years Down the Drain’

America, for Independence Day you need a RED STATE / BLUE STATE DIVORCE.
Greg Shapiro for ‘240 Years Down the Drain’
4 July, 2022

Happy Independence Day, America! To be truly independent, you need a divorce. Specifically, the BLUE States should now be independent from the RED states. You know how America loves a sequel? Welcome to ‘Civil War part 2: South, FU!’

I mean, congrats to the Red States and your Supreme Court – one day ruling ‘Free to Carry,’ the next day ruling ‘Forced to Carry.’ In your America guns how have more rights than women.
And for anyone wondering “WHY are Republicans so anti-abortion?” It’s because they want those unplanned pregnancies to go through – so they can have more kids to shoot at in schools.

And where are the Democrats? Joe Biden has really been putting the ‘Depends’ in Independence Day. I’d say the Democrats are ‘rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic,’ but it feels more like they’re the string quartet fiddling while the ship goes down.

And credit to The South. After they filed for divorce and the North said NO, The South has been playing the LONG GAME: making life so miserable for the Blue states that now the North is like “Yeah, divorce sounds good.”

Of course we’ll need two new country names. But for now the ones to beat are from the good old meme: ‘United States of Canada’ and ‘Jesus Land.’
…
On a serious note, please excuse the USA’s Supreme Court Death Cult currently setting fire to humanity. We hope to soon be reversing this error, like when Trump pulled out of the Paris Climate Accord and now we pretend like that shit never happened.

Come see the show:
‘240 Years Down the Drain: from George Washington to Donald Trump’ with Pep Rosenfeld and Greg Shapiro. Premiering at Boom Chicago for the BCCF Boom Chicago Comedy Festival – Monday, 11 July 2022. 7:30pm.
For tickets:

Home

WATCH:

May 24, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro and the Office Jester Team Up for Trump Video

Greg Shapiro and the Office Jester Team Up for Trump Video
24 May 2022

We were both experts in corporate speaking, specifically comedic corporate speaking. Yet we came to our positions from completely different routes. I was a comedian / corporate speaker, and he was an academic / court jester.

1) Comedian / Corporate Speaker. Me, I started out at theater school, and I quickly transitioned to improv comedy. I came to the Netherlands to work with the Boom Chicago comedy theater in the booming 1990s – when every Dutch business became an e-business, and every Dutch office transitioned to English. Hence, Boom Chicago was quickly called upon to perform comedy for business events. Many, many business events: for Philips; Heineken; KLM; Shell; Unilever. All the biggies.

According to most comedians, corporate entertainment is the worst. “Vanilla jokes for boring events, just to get a paycheck.” But I quickly realized it can be the opportunity to ‘speak truth to power.’ We comedians can make jokes about the boss that the employees can’t. It doesn’t have to be ‘vanilla jokes.’ It can be more like a roast. Closer to the comedy speech at the White House Press Correspondents Dinner: you make jokes about the president to their face. Or, as I put it at Boom Chicago years ago: “We make fun of your boss in front of your boss, and the one who has to pay for the whole thing is your boss.”

2) Academic / Court Jester. I met Juri Hoedemakers at a networking event for Speakers Academy in Rotterdam. Juri was the man who had done his PhD on the role of the jester in the modern ‘court’ known as ‘Upper Management.’ Sounds familiar! It turns out we had come to the same place from different directions.

Juri had just written his book Gezocht: Hofnar. Reflective voor Leiders en Leidinggevenden.
Of course he did this all in Dutch (at Erasmus University). And now he’s speaking for corporate events about the importance of reflection for business leaders. According to his research, every leader has a blind spot, which is to take oneself too seriously. Leaders need jesters to help their message connect with their teams.

Juri was of course a fan of the Trump voice I did for the ‘Netherlands Second’ video on Zondag Met Lubach. So I did a quick voice recording to promote his book.
And here it is. [Video created by Jeroen Smolders]

May 17, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro Audiobook Preview – THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER

Greg Shapiro Audiobook Preview – THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER
17 May 2022

My third book THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER: 25 Years of Expat Tales came out in 2020.

And now that the lockdown is over, I’m getting serious about an audiobook. In the meantime, you can hear me doing a reading of my Origin Story in the Netherlands – in the link below.

From Chapter One: ‘Amsterdam Day One.’

The question was: “Would you be willing to give up your acting career in Manhattan to do comedy in Amsterdam for a start-up theater called Boom Chicago?” Since I was living on tips and paying rent via credit card, the answer was an immediate YES. When you’ve tried being broke in New Amsterdam, you might as well try being broke in Old Amsterdam.

In 1994, my idea of Amsterdam was the one shared by most Americans, I suppose: Rembrandt, Van Gogh, Anne Frank – and then sex & drugs and downhill from there. In America, if we hear about the Netherlands at all, it’s that Dutch people are all drug-doing, drug-dealing, baby- killing, grandpa-murdering, left-handed pedophiles. Once I got here, I realized it’s not true! According to most Dutch people: “That’s Belgium.”

Before leaving Schiphol Airport, I took care of my To-Do List of Now- Anachronistic technology. I went to a place called the GWK Currency Exchange to trade my US Dollars into a totally made-up currency called Guilders. Even at the time, Guilders seemed whimsically antiquated. One of the coins they gave me said ‘2-and-a-half.’ I supposed it was from back in the days when people counted on their two-and-a-half fingers. I also bought a public transport pass called a ‘strip card,’ since access to Dutch trams somehow involved ‘stripping.’ The alternative was ‘Riding Black’ – which to me sounded like a stripper name. And lastly, I procured a phone card for making phone calls at these things called ‘public phone booths.’ These triangular, glass enclosures were also known as ‘phone boxes,’ or – in Dutch – pissoirs.

WANT TO READ MORE?
HollandBooks.nl

OR
Listen to me reading from my book here on the ARTS TALK RADIO podcast:

May 4, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro Working with Dylan Haegens and – Roy Donders?

Greg Shapiro Working with with Dylan Haegens and – Roy Donders?
5 May 2022

It was an early call for a video shoot in Brabant, at the home of a famous Dutch celebrity. Based in Tilburg.

Whose kitchen features a Senseo coffee machine…

…and a leopard print kettle and toaster.
Can you guess who it is yet?

Yes, it’s Roy Donders.

I was hired for a commercial shoot to work with Haegens Media.

As in Dylan Haegens, the biggest Dutch YouTuber ever. I thought “What a compliment! He knows me from my YouTube channel.” It turns out: he had not heard about my YouTube channel. But he knew me from my onscreen work as ‘an American in a suit.’ And that was my role: the American manager of a new app called Club Vegas. In a suit.

Roy Donders is known as a singer and stylist, and he has a reality show on Dutch TV with his mom. The two of them are very cute.

In the opening scene, I pitch the app to Roy and his mom. And the reason I liked this concept is that it’s not a straight-up commercial spot. Rather, it’s a behind-the-scenes ‘Making of’ story for a commercial spot. Clever. Well done, Dylan.

The app itself is NOT a gambling app. I made sure of that. It’s a gambling-themed app. And it is free. Okay yes, it has in-app purchases. But since the target audience is women aged 30-50, I think it’s ‘fair game.’

I made sure to give Roy Donders a copy of my book, and he’s going to give it to his Dutch-American friend. I also gave a copy to Dylan himself – the gifting video is coming soon.

Oh, and Roy Donders is known for his love of worstenbroodjes, ie Dutch sausage pastries. This is a reputation he says he is now trying to live down. But it’s not working. The wrap party photo features the entire cast and crew seated on an enormous worstenbroodje.

It was great to work with Haegens Media – and with the green screen studio Key-ative. We’re already teaming up to work on more. Stay tuned…

March 7, 2022 In Blog

English Language Amsterdam Election Debate – Hosted by Greg Shapiro

English Language Amsterdam Election Debate – Hosted by Greg Shapiro
7 March, 2022

Hey Expats & Internationals! You might be able to vote in the Amsterdam City Council Elections – aka the Gemeenteraadsverkiezingen.
Basically, if you’ve been living here long enough you can pronounce the term Gemeenteraadsverkiezingen, then maybe you can vote in the Gemeenteraadsverkiezingen.

Election Day is next Wednesday, 16 March. And on 9 March I hosted the ONLY English-language election event in Amsterdam. Here are some highlights.

As the host, I started out with a comedy version of the basics: If American politics is quite Bipolar, then Dutch politics has Multiple Personality Disorder. Even in Amsterdam – with only 45 seats in city council – there are 15 different parties. And there are 26 parties running in the upcoming election! That means there are 11 parties that have never existed before – and may never exist again. That’s the nature of Dutch politics: the smaller the country, the more they like to disagree.

Onstage last night we had three parties from the current city council coalition: GroenLinks; D66 & Labor PvdA. We also had VOLT – who have never campaigned for city council before. And we had VVD who are in city council – but not in the ruling coalition.

As the host, I welcomed the 100+ people in the audience, and I subtly switched from my native English to ESL ‘English as a Second Language.’ That also helped the five politicians on the panel, who were each rather nervous about their level of English. As expected, everyone’s English was FINE… with a few exceptions.

“If you live in an old house, you need isolation. The city needs to provide isolation. Isolation for everyone!” I quickly pointed out that in English it’s called INSULATION. That’s very different.

HOUSING
There’s more housing coming! Pre-fab houses, 3-D printed houses, and floating houses. And if you’re smart you’ll get a floating house, because this city is going to be underwater soon.

SUSTAINABILITY
Thanks to Putin, everyone in Europe is now desperate to get off of fossil fuels. GroenLinks wants more solar, more insulation and even 6-7 wind turbines on Amsterdam land. I had to ask Rutger from GroenLinks “Why has Amsterdam been cutting down so many trees?” And admitted “It’s bad for optics,” but the truth is many trees that were planted 30 – 40 years ago were not well planned, and now their root systems are destroying canal walls, city streets and foundations. They’ve been replanting new, proper trees. But that doesn’t stop Thierry Baudet from putting tree stumps in his campaign photos.

ARTS / DIVERSITY
Well, since GroenLinks & D66 chose to hold this event at Podium Mozaiek, I guess that shows they support diversity as well as the arts. Anything is better than the place they had four years ago – the Marktkantine. Yuck.

March 3, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro New Comedy Show LISTPUSHER at Utrecht Int’l Comedy Festival

Greg Shapiro New Comedy Show LISTPUSHER at Utrecht Int’l Comedy Festival
3 March, 2022

Based on my experiences as a real-live (fake) politician – I’ve created a new 30-minute show called LIST PUSHER.

“List Pusher?” What’s that?

THE ORIGIN STORY
A friend of mine on Amsterdam city council asked me “Could you help us on our campaign to reach out to the expats and internationals?” And I said yes. The upcoming city council elections – the gemeenteraadsverkiezingen – are the one time expats and non-Dutch citizens can vote. Basically, if you’ve lived in the Netherlands long enough to pronounce the term gemeenteraadsverkiezingen, then maybe you can vote in the gemeenteraadsverkiezingen.

But then he asked “this time what if we don’t just have you as a volunteer – but as a symbolic candidate on the candidate list?” And – here’s how my big my ego is – I said “But wait – what if I win? If everybody votes for me, will I have to be on city council?” The answer is technically yes – but I’d be candidate 49 on a list of 50. The so-called Lijstduwer – the ‘List Pusher.’ So now I’m a pusher man. Telling expats “The first vote is free.”

WHO SHOULD I VOTE FOR
Before I could become a candidate for this party, I had to make sure it was the right party for me. Politically, I’m not too far right, but also not too far left – kind of in the middle. So I found the online voting guide called Stemwijzer. They have 30 questions, and you agree or disagree, and at the end they tell you which party is for you. As an experiment, I clicked ‘No opinion’ for every question, and the party they gave me was: D66. Because they’re right in the middle. And I thought “YES! That’s the party for me.”

(Also D66 are pro-Europe, pro-gay rights, pro-bilingual education and pro dual citizenship. You should vote for them. But don’t vote for me! I know what happens when they put a comedian in charge – the next thing you know you’re fighting off Russian missiles.)

VOTE ABM: (anyone but me)!

And come see my show:
LIST PUSHER. UTRECHT INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL
Friday 4 March
Saturday 5 March

https://utrechtinternationalcomedyfestival.nl/
https://www.ticketmaster.nl/event/big-binge-of-comedy-friday-tickets/275019

February 7, 2022 In Blog

Greg Shapiro Presents: HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ SHOW

Greg Shapiro Presents: HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ SHOW
7 Feb., 2022

Hi, it’s me Greg Shapiro – the American Netherlander. I grew up in America first, and I moved to the Netherlands second. Along the way, I took the Dutch citizenship exam, and I wrote a couple books on the subject – including HOW TO BE DUTCH: the Quiz. All the questions that SHOULD be on the Dutch citizenship exam, by the American Netherlander who’s been living here 25 years.

And now it’s time to play HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ SHOW!

Question:
Which nationality traditionally scores the worst on the Dutch citizenship quiz?
Answer:
Dutch people.

SAMPLE QUESTION:
How many times does the Dutch national anthem reference other countries?

Answer: 3.
In the opening line it starts talking about Germany.
Next up is Orange, which is a city in France.
And in the final line – just when the the world is thinking “surely this will be the name of their own country” – NOPE! ‘Spain.’
And guess which 3 countries have ever invaded and occupied the NL?
Germany, France and Spain.
Meaning – It’s not so much an anthem as it is a self-hating checklist.
And this explains why the Netherlands never come in first place in the World Cup.

HOW TO BE DUTCH – THE QUIZ SHOW!
“I take the Netherlands a little bit on the hook, yes?”

Greg Shapiro (Boom Chicago, Comedy Central, ‘Zondag Met Lubach’) has written a book about Dutch culture: HOW TO BE DUTCH: the Quiz. As a comedian, Shapiro starts by looking at the questions on the actual Dutch citizenship exam. Sometimes a simple analysis of the actual questions reveals more about the Dutch mentality than the exam ever intended. Next, Shapiro introduces his own exam, with questions that will test your knowledge on Dutch pride, Dutch stereotypes, Dutch politics – and yes Sinterklaas.

Shapiro has written so many quiz questions, he can tailor-make a quiz for your event. Previous quizzes have featured: Dutch Office Culture; Dutch Housing and Dutch Sustainability.

Quiz Shows are generally 15- 30 minutes. Tailoring is available, Pre-meetings are available.