DUTCH TO THE RESCUE – a new Greg Shapiro solo comedy show
6 January, 2023
Welcome to the Netherlands, where 30% of the land mass is below sea level, and the sea level is rising. But don’t worry! If the water gets too high, Dutch people will do what they’ve doing for centuries: make more land. It’s what they do.
In fact, when it comes to Climate Change, the Netherlands has a lot of answers to world’s challenges.
“Who do you call when you need a sea wall? The Dutch.”
“Which country’s thriving with sea levels rising? The Dutch.”
“Who brings you luck when your container ship’s stuck? The Dutch.”
The Netherlands doesn’t get nearly enough credit – and somehow that’s exactly how they like it. The entire country is allergic to anything resembling bragging.
Scheppen, goed. Opscheppen, niet goed.
Yes, Dutch people are producing the world’s first solar-powered car, creating lab-grown meat, cleaning up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch… but they don’t like to talk about it. The Netherlands is like a superhero obsessed with their secret identity. Netherlands, you need a sidekick. You need a wing man. You need a cheerleader!
Enter The American Netherlander: Greg Shapiro is Dutch enough to be proud of the Netherlands – and American enough to not care how loud he is about it. So many examples of Dutch traditions and innovations to fight climate change, but they don’t like to brag. That’s where I come in.
DUTCH TO THE RESCUE is Greg Shapiro’s seventh solo show. Previous shows include Leaving Trumpland and How to Be Orange.
Greg Shapiro: Comedian. American. Dutchman. As a comedian, he is known as the voice of the ‘Netherlands Second’ video – and as one of the originals at Boom Chicago theater in Amsterdam. He has hosted ‘Comedy Central News’ on ComedyCentralNL, and he has appeared on BNN-VARA, VPRO & ZDF. As author, Greg has written books such as How to Be Dutch: the Quiz and his latest The American Netherlander: 25 Years of Expat Tales.
Also coming soon in 2023: a return of Pep & Greg Save America at Boom Chicago in March.
2023 features a new solo show Work-in-Progress, called DUTCH TO THE RESCUE. And this month I’ll also be hosting another PePijn’s Comedy Club – but in English, in the Hague.
4. Amsterdam. Comedy Cafe. Open mic spot. 20.00.
8. Utrecht. Mad Cow Comedy at De Utrechter. 15.00
11. Rotterdam. Club Haug Open Mic spot. 20.00.
12. Den Haag. PePijn Comedy Club in English. I’m MC – and programmer! 20.30. PePijn Comedy Club
13. Haarlem. De Dakkas. My new solo show ‘DUTCH TO THE RESCUE.’ 20.30. Dutch to the Rescue
21. Amsterdam. De Sering. Comedy for Climate Headliner. (sponsored by Extinction Rebellion… Yes, they will be gluing their heads to all of the artists.) 5pm. Comedy for Climate
Who do you call when you need a sea wall? The Dutch.
Which country’s thriving with sea levels rising? The Dutch.
Who brings you luck when your container ship’s stuck? The Dutch.
When it comes to Climate Change, the Netherlands has a lot of answers to world’s challenges. But they don’t like to talk about it. Yes, Dutch people are producing the world’s first solar-powered car, creating lab-grown meat, cleaning up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch… but they don’t like to brag. The Netherlands is like a superhero obsessed with their secret identity.
PEPIJN’S COMEDY CLUB
I’ll also be hosting another PePijn’s Comedy Club – but in English, in the Hague. My hand-picked acts include
Luana-Elena MATEI (Romania), known for her solo shows Daddy’s Little Girl & How to Cheat on Your Husband.
Ken Parsons (UK), a folk-singer, a dad-joke teller, and organizer of Nutty Anita’s Comedy Nights in Amsterdam.
Kendra Borgen (US), comedian & organizer of Amsterdam’s Monday Night Live.
And there’s even a ‘new talent spot’ with Jack HeyJack.
COMING SOON IN 2023: a return of Pep & Greg Save America at Boom Chicago in March.
+ more international touring.
A Christmas Twist Playlist, by Greg Shapiro
21 December, 2022
I love Christmas music! BUT there comes a time, every December, when I hear ‘Jingle Bells’ for the 100th time, and my ears start to bleed. We deserve a Christmas Twist.
I’ve made a playlist on Spotify – yes Spotify* – with offbeat Christmas songs that deserve more listens. And won’t melt your brain from overplaying.
‘Father Christmas’ The Kinks (1977).
This song was released in 1977 at the start of the punk explosion in the UK. No, it’s not punk. But it does feature the punk-ish lyrics “Father Christmas, give us some money! …We’ll beat you up if you don’t hand it over!”
‘Christmas Wrapping’ The Waitresses (1982).
I was aware of this song, though I was never a fan. It was my daughter who pointed out that there’s a whole narrative to the lyrics, which is actually quite charming. And only now do I get the double meaning of the title: dear god, she actually thought she was ‘rapping.’ But – bearing in mind Debbie Harry’s ‘Rapture’ came out in 1980 – I guess for white women it did qualify as rap music.
‘Christmas in Hollis’ RUN-DMC (1988). This track appeared on RUN-DMC’s last 80s album Tougher Than Leather, with a sample from ‘Backdoor Santa’ by Clarence Carter. Jam Master Jay, RIP.
‘Backdoor Santa’ The Black Crowes (2020).
I’d included the original ‘Backdoor Santa,’ but to my ear it quickly became overplayed. So I’m now opting for the cover version.
MORE SONGS
‘Getting Ready for Christmas’ Paul Simon (2011).
This song falls into the category called “How Can I Never Have Heard This Song?!” I guess later-day Paul Simon is worth a listen.
‘Night Rider’ PK Farstad’ (2012).
Santa as ‘the Night Rider’ – see what he did there? Lots of jazz & lyric-free tracks in this list! I’ve included classical & jazz versions of The Nutcracker Suite. As well as some very abstract jazz covers of some Christmas classics.
‘Home Alone soundtrack’ John Williams (1990).
Yes, I’ve put some classic Christmas movie soundtracks in here. From Home Alone, from Love Actually and from Harry Potter.
‘A Smoky Mountain Christmas’ Dolly Parton (2022).
I had no idea Dolly Parton was still putting out albums! Country music as a genre ain’t my favorite, but Dolly Parton is a living legend, and this song is just short and sweet enough.
I’ll keep making little updates as we go. If a song gets too repetitive in my ear, I’ll take it out. But I might just try adding some more gems, as I happen upon them.
Wishing you very much mental health for Christmas, and in the new year.
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
*Spotify: to make sure the good little musicians get paid the same as Santa’s elves.
Hire an Event Organizer for Christmas – by Greg Shapiro 16 December, 2022
Dear Corporate Event Planners, IT’S NOT TOO LATE to HIRE AN EVENT ORGANIZER.
There’s a noticeable trend I’ve observed this year: some of the wealthiest companies in the country are making rookie mistakes at their events.
The good news: Hooray! The Covid lockdown is officially behind us, and we can have Christmas / Year-End events again.
The bad news: No one remembers how to organize events anymore! Remember Marloes / Marlies / Marjolein? The one who USED to know who to call to organize all the events? She left during the Great Reset, didn’t she? And you didn’t replace her yet, did you?
The FIRST thing she would do is: HIRE AN EVENT ORGANIZER. But too often I’ve seen this logic this year: “I’ll organize it myself. How hard can it be?” And now you’re finding out the hard way: HOW HARD IT CAN BE.
STEP 1: THE FOOD.
Recently, I was at an event where I heard:
“We wanted a Christmas party where everyone is invited. Even the kitchen staff!”
Who’s going to serve the food?
“We’ll just use the kitchen staff – they’ll already be there.”
And yes, the food was served – but no one cleared the plates. The half-eaten food just stacked up on the tables, like at a fraternity party. “Merry Christmas!”
STEP 2: THE TECH TEAM.
“I’m sure the location will provide their own technician-?” Yes, and – they know how to set up the gear …but they don’t always know how to run it. I was at a major B2B event, where they’d hired an A-lister TV personality to play host for a crowd of 700. They’d even put up video screens to beam the host to the tables at the back – but they forgot to turn them on. The result: half the crowd couldn’t see, and they talked through the whole show. “We paid enough for the TV star – why should we also pay for extra technicians?”
STEP 3: THE ENTERTAINMENT.
“We’ll get the DJ we hired last time. And we’ll hire that comedian I know from the gym!”
Result: The comedian is expected to perform in front of the DJ set-up. Aka: Amateur hour.
Or – yes they thought of a stage, but no they didn’t think of lighting. Or background.
“And who needs to hire an MC? I’ll just do it myself.”
Last time, our host introduced the first comedian DURING the first course of the meal. Making sure everyone was eating and chatting instead of listening. The result was this:
It was something like a horror show.
HIRE AN EVENT ORGANIZER for Christmas.
Here is a list of event organizers I like to work with. CALL THEM!
And hire back Marloes / Marlies / Marjolein as soon as possible.
——
Aaaaha! Livecommunicatie
Evented
Evers Evenementen
LEF Marketing & Events
Moderating EU
Obsession Evenementen
PINO Evenementen
WOP Events
Anyone I’m forgetting? I’m making my list and checking it twice…
The English-language comedy scene in The Netherlands is developing so much comedy talent these days! For under 20 euros, you can easily see ‘Tomorrow’s Netflix Special’ comedians – before they start charging 75 euros per ticket. I am lucky enough to be programming one of these English comedy nights, in one of my favorite little spaces: Theater PePijn in The Hague. Normally reserved for solo shows and Dutch ‘cabaret,’ it is known among comedians as one of the best spaces to perform.
LARA RICOTE – our First Headliner
Lara started out as an international student in Amsterdam a few years ago. She developed her first solo show based on her unique blend of demographic categories: GRL/LATINX/DEF. “Girl, Latin American, and hard of hearing.” Lara plays up her triple ‘Minority status’ to great effect. Now she’s winning awards like the UK Funny Women Award and the coveted Best Newcomer Award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2022.
Before Lara moves off to the UK – or the US – I managed to get her onstage for the November edition of PEPIJN’S COMEDY CLUB – IN ENGLISH.
WATCH (90 seconds):
Also featured in the November show
– Hermes Ahmadi. Afghan / Dutch comedian, known for his solo show You Might Be Here. – La Hager – Egyptian / Dutch comedian, and female. She is a mainstay of the English comedy scene, particularly in The Hague.
– Lia Sulim – Ukrainian comedian – was in the New Talent spot. She is a recent immigrant, forced to flee from the invasion. She’s still working on her English, but her punchlines are killer. One to watch.
+ special thanks to Lia’s boyfriend ISIK ISIN for photos & videos!
Theater PePijn was established as a tryout space for the bigger names in Dutch theater and ‘cabaret.’ You can still find big name artists for a tiny little price, as they try out new material.
The next dates for PEPIJN’S COMEDY CLUB – IN ENGLISH
as seen in ArtsTalkMagazine.nl “JOKES WERE WELL-SCULPTED AND WIDE-RANGING.” “ENGAGING WITH THE AUDIENCE, THEY WERE QUICK, PROVOCATIVE AND PUGNACIOUS.”
15 November, 2022
REVIEWED BY Jacob John Shale :
Political comedy is largely useless. That is to say that it has no impact upon the figures, events and institutions it criticises. There’s a very funny moment in one of the comedian Doug Stanhope’s specials (or maybe it’s from an interview, I can’t find the clip online) in which he describes his exasperation at having to encounter people debating issues he has already dealt with in his previous stand-up routines. I’m paraphrasing, but Stanhope’s joke goes something like: How is this argument still going on? Don’t they know I’ve already shouted at thousands of drunk people about this?
Pep and Greg Save America
(hosted by Pep Rosenfeld and Greg Shapiro) wants to be regarded as a work of uncompromising satire. The premise of the show, which premiered at Boom Chicago on the night of the midterm election, is that America is a wonderful place currently captured by a band of right-wing lunatics whose ideals bear no resemblance to those on which the country was founded. They argue that the Democrats should once again embrace patriotism; rescue it from Republican hands. Against this premise, we have the hosts’ recognition that entertainment is not activism. Their title is self-mocking in the same manner as the joke by Stanhope mentioned above. Rosenfeld and Shapiro understand that America will not be saved by the end of the night, and how ridiculous it is to assume that comedy should serve this function.
The show’s targets
were about as predictable as the darts that were flung at them. Still, they landed. When faced with the gargoyles of the American political scene, many contemporary comedians seem to feel that there is little need in putting together a punch line. And why would they? All you have to do is quote a particularly stupid remark and you have your applause. This approach was thankfully not too much present in last night’s show.
The two comedians’ jokes were well-sculpted and wide-ranging in their references – everything from Tucker Carlson (of whom Shapiro performed an impression) to She-Hulk (used to make an unexpected comparison) to Twin Peaks (it dismays me to report that this joke, which I will not spoil, was the one that elicited the least laughter). Ultimately, it was in their crowd-work that I thought Shapiro and Rosenfeld were at their funniest. Engaging with the audience, they were quick, provocative and pugnacious. It made me wish that the rest of the show had not been so carefully engineered.
November starts with a BANG. For FOUR nights only, we perform ‘PEP & GREG SAVE AMERICA’ at Boom Chicago in Amsterdam. (starting 3 Nov.) Just in time for the US Midterm Elections 2022. Pep and I have been doing standup comedy shows together for 20 of America’s 240 years. So this time we’ve added music and improv from Stacey Smith & Sacha Hoedemaker. It’s a hoot. And – based on the results on Election Night – Pep & I might just save America by putting a pillow over its face and ending the pain.
Another show I’m excited about is the new English comedy series at Pepijn Comedy Club in The Hague. (10 Nov.) I’m booking the shows as well as hosting. And guess who’s coming to be our headliner? The Best Newcomer at the 2022 Edinburgh Comedy Awards! Amsterdam’s own Lara Ricote. She is smart & funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgySVdjX86E
And I’ll be headlining the first show in a new series in Westerpark at the Pacific Amsterdam in Westergasfabriek. It’s called Jesterpark.
I’ll be playing in Amsterdam, Leiden, Den Haag, Utrecht – and Paris!
One of the more bizarre aspects of knowing famous people is when they name-check you on TV. The king of Dutch late-night comedy is Arjen Lubach, and he is also one of the smartest fellows on TV. Hence he can frequently be seen on the Dutch quiz show De Slimste Mens.
To introduce a new quiz category, Arjen made a short video, saying: “Na de inauguratie van Donald Trump maakte wij bij Zondag Met Lubach een filmpje dat aardig viral ging. The ‘Netherlands Second.’ Ik hou het niet exact bij, maar de teller staat op ongeveer de 41,980,818 views. De stem van Donald Trump werd trouwens fenomenaal gedaan bij Greg Shapiro van Boom Chicago. Boom Chicago. Boom. …Wat weet u van de eik?”
Translation:
“After the inauguration of Donald Trump, we made a video at Zondag Met Lubach that went quite viral. The ‘Netherlands Second’ video. I can’t keep track of it exactly, but the view count is approximately 41,980,818 views. The voice of Donald Trump was done phenomenally by Greg Shapiro from the Boom Chicago theater. ‘Boom Chicago.’ Boom (Tree). …What do you know about the oak?”
Thanks for the shout-out!
One Shout-out and One Insult
Also my name recently came up, when a friend of mine was watching a 2014 episode of Broad City. He sent me a screenshot of Zack Gallifianakis’ character saying, “Only me and Greg Shapiro could go blow ourselves.”
What -? Why ‘Greg Shapiro’ -? Surely this was a coincidence. Or… could it be my former girlfriend? One of the writers on Broad City was indeed a former Boom Chicago colleague – who was also a former girlfriend. I thought we had broken up amicably (in 1995). But who knows, maybe it sometimes takes 19 years for people to exact their revenge. I’ll never know.
A lot of my former colleagues are working in American show business. We all worked together doing improv comedy at Boom Chicago. And one of the fundamental rules of improvisation is “Make Your Partner Look Good.” So when I see former colleagues winning awards – like Seth Meyers and Jordan Peele and Jason Sudeikis – I feel like “I made them look good.” And looking at my career, I realize “I guess I did a better job than they did.”
Greg Shapiro ‘NETHERLANDS CHEERLEADER’ – Speakers Academy Magazine, 2022-23 by Jacques Geluk
Greg Shapiro is world-famous, ever since he perfectly imitated Donald Trump’s voice in Arjen Lubach’s ‘Netherlands Second’ video. (It’s since been viewed almost 30 million times). Shapiro is already known in the Netherlands for his work with Boom Chicago comedy theater, and previously as host and writer of Comedy Central News. Now, he is also an author and vlogger, and he frequently focuses on the Netherlands and Dutch innovations – a self-proclaimed ‘cheerleader for the Netherlands.’
Shapiro moved to the Netherlands in 1994 and is married to a Dutch woman. “Came for work, stayed for love.” By now he has lived here more than half his life, hence he knows both American and Dutch culture quite well. He often gives a ‘Masterclass’ in Dutch culture called ‘Culture Shock Therapy,’ or additionally ‘How to Be Dutch: the Quiz.’
Given Shapiro’s unique Dutch-American status, he is a popular bilingual speaker at major events. He is known for hosting or performing for NATO, for the president of France, and for King Willem Alexander. “I’ve lived here long enough to be proud of the Netherlands, but I’m still American enough to not care how loud I am about it,” says Greg in his native language. “I am frequently asked by Dutch or multinational companies for business events, often to talk about culture shock. I confront the stereotypes like sex, drugs – and Dutch cheapness. Then I go into more detail, realizing that it’s actually better here than I was used to in America. As ‘The American Netherlander’ [which is also the title of his last book from 2020], I am already a fan of Dutch inventions, innovations, water management. I’ve become a kind of cheerleader.”
Business card
Shapiro finds it interesting that the ‘Netherlands Second’ video has been used by Prince Constantijn and the Netherlands Foreign Investment Agency during trade missions – as a kind of business card. “And as far as water management is concerned, yes there’s the Afsluitdijk – a marvel of water engineering. And there’s the Deltaworks in Zeeland – but also the New Orleans Deltaworks, built with the help of Dutch engineers at Royal Haskoning. It’s like the old commercials from Centrale Beheer: ‘Have a problem? Better call the Netherlands.’ Hurricane Katrina? Better call the Netherlands. Containership stuck in the Suez Canal? Better call the Netherlands (Boslkalis).”
“So many examples to mention! And not only foreigners are surprised to learn these companies are Dutch – it’s Dutch people too. Dutch folks are not giving themselves enough credit. That’s where I come in. And I’m collecting new examples all the time – for the shows and projects I do for clients like TU Delft, for Mosa Meat (lab-grown ‘cultivated’ meat) and for Wageningen University & Research.”
Event Host of the day
As an ‘improv comedian’, Greg Shapiro is also the almost ideal event host of the day. He puts guests, audience and organizations at ease with a lot of humor and always without being rude. If something goes wrong with the sound, a speaker who is not comfortable, the timing or the connection during a webinar… he improvises immediately, thanks to his many years of theater experience. “The unexpected actually makes it all a bit more lively and interesting for everyone.”
Greg Shapiro NETHERLANDS CHEERLEADER – in het nederlands
‘Een Cheerleader voor Nederland’
Hij is wereldberoemd sinds hij de stem van Donald Trump perfect heeft geïmiteerd in Arjen Lubachs ‘Netherlands Second’ video (inmiddels bijna 30 miljoen keer bekeken). Greg Shapiro is al bekend via Boom Chicago theater en als gastheer en schrijver van Comedy Central News. Nu is hij ook auteur en vlogger, met als onderwerp Nederland en Nederlandse innovaties. Hij is een zelfbenoemd ‘cheerleader van Nederland.’
Greg Shapiro woont sinds 1994 in Nederland en is getrouwd met een Nederlandse. Doordat hij nu al meer dan de helft van zijn leven hier woont kent hij zowel de Amerikaanse als de Nederlandse cultuur heel goed en kan hij ze naast elkaar leggen. Vaak geeft hij een ‘Masterclass’ in Nederlandse cultuur die heet ‘Culture Shock Therapy,’ of zelfs ‘How to Be Dutch: the Quiz.’
Mede daardoor is hij een gewilde tweetalige spreker op grote evenementen, voor zelfs de president van Frankrijk, de NAVO, en voor Koning Willem Alexander. “I’ve lived here long enough to be proud of the Netherlands, but I’m still American enough to not care how loud I am about it”, zegt Greg in zijn eerste moedertaal.
“Ik word meestal gevraagd door multinationale bedrijven voor grote B2B evenementen. Vaak praat ik over cultuurschok, de stereotypes met thema’s als seks, drugs – en de Nederlandse bescheidenheid. Daarna ga ik er dieper op in, beseffend dat het hier eigenlijk beter is dan ik gewend was in Amerika. Eigenlijk ben ik als ‘The American Netherlander’ (wat ook de titel is van mijn laatste boek uit 2020) al fan van Nederlandse uitvindingen, innovaties, watermanagement en andere technieken. Ik ben een soort cheerleader geworden.”
Visitekaartje
Hij vindt het interessant dat de ‘Netherlands Second’- video is gebruikt door prins Constantijn en het Netherlands Foreign Investment Agency tijdens handelsmissies als een soort visitekaartje. “Wat het watermanagement betreft benoem ik net als in de video de Afsluitdijk, een wonder van waterengineering, en maak ik de connectie met de deltawerken, en met de New Orleans deltawerken gebouwd met hulp van Nederlanders. Even Nederland bellen. Ik heb zo veel leuke voorbeelden te noemen! Vaak zijn buitenlanders verbaasd te horen dat de uitvoerende bedrijven Nederlands zijn. Maar vaak zijn ook Nederlanders zelf verbaasd! Dat verwerk ik allemaal in mijn lezingen, voor TU Delft, voor Mosa Meat (kweekvlees) en ook voor een project met Wageningen Universiteit & Research.”
Greg introduceert ook zijn vernieuwde YouTube-kanaal, Climate News Comedy, met nog meer voorbeelden uit Nederland.
Dagvoorzitter
Als ‘improv comedian’ is Greg Shapiro bovendien de welhaast ideale dagvoorzitter. Hij stelt gasten, publiek en organisaties op hun gemak met veel humor en altijd zonder grof te zijn. Als iets misgaat met het geluid, een spreker die zich niet comfortabel voelt, de timing of de verbinding tijdens een webinar… improviseert hij onmiddellijk, Geen probleem dankzij zijn langjarige theaterervaring. “Het onverwachte maakt het eigenlijk allemaal nog wat levendiger en interessanter voor iedereen.”
Greg Shapiro: ‘Dutch Direct vs the Elephant in the Room’
11 October, 2022
As ‘Dutch direct’ as you think may be, it still helps to have an American by your side. Dutch culture prides itself on being ‘Dutch direct,’ which is an indirect way of saying ‘rude.’ Sometimes I get hired by Dutch companies to host their events, to help ‘bridge the cultural gap’ between the older Dutch management and their mostly younger, more international staff. Practically, that means I get to share the stage with them and demonstrate how to not get upset when they say ‘Dutch direct’ things like “I wouldn’t have chosen that outfit” or “Ha ha – that joke didn’t work.”
Lesson Number One: start off by removing the tie.
To show how well integrated I am, I will sometimes respond to Dutch directness by teasing Dutch people right back. It makes the boss more human! There was one Dutch CEO who had a real ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ attitude. He liked to answer questions by saying “Okay, look…” But he was speaking English as a second language. So frequently – instead of saying look – he would use the Dutch word kijk. Luckily, he didn’t pronounce it the ethnic slur way. He said it more like “cake.” So I pointed out that – if he was going to start off every point talking about cake, there had better be some cake by the end of the day. (There was.)
DUTCH DIRECT + Yank Joke
For another event – for another ‘Dutch direct’ CEO – there was an elephant in the room. That’s partly why they’d hired me: to help keep the day loose and informal, so the audience would feel confident enough to ask the difficult questions. And the employees did ask difficult enough questions, about sustainability,about equal pay, about fair hiring… But then came a question about accusations of fake sustainability claims, ie ‘greenwashing.’ The elephant had arrived!
The CEO explained that he took the greenwashing accusations very seriously. He admitted that just a couple years ago those accusations would have been partly true. I said “I was here a couple years ago, and I can confirm! The last time I hosted for you guys, you had one HR manager saying ‘sustainability would be a good idea,’ and now she’s on the board as the first ever Chief Sustainability Officer. …And if anyone still comes with complaints that Dutch companies aren’t green enough, remind them that Shell Oil is now located in the UK.”
The Netherlands doesn’t get nearly enough credit – and somehow that’s exactly how they like it. The entire country is allergic to anything resembling bragging.
