If you’ve spent any time on Instagram in the year 2020, you’re probably aware of the American Seth Phillips – aka ‘Dude with Sign.’ I’ve been inspired by his work. And – as an artist – that’s my way of saying I’m stealing his idea.
In March 2021, I did a series of ‘Dutch Dude with Sign’ poses to encourage the Dutch English-speaking community to get more involved with the Dutch elections. But now I’m picking up where I left off – nu helemaal in het Nederlands.
Reduce Cardboard Use. He said, in front of a mountain of overflowing cardboard. (foto: Jonathan Groubert)
Nieuw van Ikea: Kabinet ‘Rüttevir’ (geen garantie). Komt er ooit een nieuwe kabinet? Wordt het Rutte IV? Geen garantie. En zo ja, dan zelfs geen garantie dat die 4 jaar duurt. (foto: Imre Shapiro)
Geïnspireerd door graffiti op mijn vuilnis container: “BEN JIJ EEN SLAAF?” “Nou, ben jij een WAPPIE?” (foto: Imre Shapiro)
Formatie Proces: 0%.
Disinformatie Proces: 100%
(foto: Imre Shapiro)
Vaccines used to hurt more when Bill Gates injected a whole floppy disc.
(thank you Shlibber for the inspiration.)
(foto: Inez de Goede)
ACCESS MAGAZINE REVIEWS GREG SHAPIRO’S THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER: 25 YEARS OF EXPAT TALES
HOW DUTCH ARE YOU?
by Giulia Quaresima (ACCESS magazine, April 2021)
Greg Shapiro’s The American Netherlander, with its sense of humour and sharp eye for detail, is a good starting point to understanding life as an international in the Netherlands. The author is an American comedian, a member of comedy group Boom Chicago, presenter of Comedy Central News, and author of two books now collected together in The American Netherlander: 25 Years of Expat Tales. This book tells the story of Shapiro’s personal cultural adventure and assimilation in the Netherlands, from when he first arrived 25 years ago and stayed for love. It is not a scientific guide, but a manual to understand and familiarise yourself with the country, using the author’s personal anecdotes for a subjective and hilarious point of view.
Shapiro tackles Dutch common sense, a pragmatic approach to problem solving, openness and tolerance, multiculturalism, politics, education, and even customer service. While his personal experiences really bring out the humour and irony, he also shows understanding. For instance, the renowned ‘Dutch directness’ is really brutal honesty that isn’t intended to hurt feelings.
Shapiro uses paradoxes and oxymorons in Dutch culture: How can Dutch identity be so independent-minded, yet also so obsessed with consensus? How can Dutch identity be so liberal and open, yet also so Calvinistic and conformist? How can Dutch identity be so proud, but then be so quiet about it? “Dutch police won’t stop you for having an un-helmeted ba by strapped to the front of your bike, like a human shield. In fact, Dutch police won’t stop you if there is a kid on the handlebars, one on the crossbar, two on the back rack, and another one standing on top of those for a playdate. But if they’d been riding at night without a light? That’s a fine of €50.”
The second part of the book is a Dutch assimilation test, a collection of all the questions that should be included in the inburgering exams. According to Shapiro, these reveal more than the exam ever intended.
Give it a try and see how Dutch you are!
“Hi! My name is Greg Shapiro, or you can call me Gregory. Or – in Dutch – ‘Krek.’ That’s my name in Dutch: Krek Tja-piero.’ Prime example of Culture Shock: When you move to a different country and realize ‘Wow – I’ve been pronouncing my name wrong my whole life.'”
There are plenty examples of Culture Shock in the Netherlands. Like having a Dutchman introduce himself and say “Hello, my name is Freek. I am Freek, and this is my colleague Tjerk.” But if you can keep a sense of humor about it, you experience Culture Shock THERAPY: when you realize that cultural differences can be hilarious.
“I am a bit of both: a bit LOUD AMERICAN and a bit ‘Doe Normaal‘ Nederlander. And yes I am tweetaliggggg. But I don’t like to speak Dutch, because it makes my mouth feel sad. What is it about Dutch people and their Harde G? It makes you sound like angry, choking zombie people. Like that TV show The Walking Dead. Or – since it’s the Netherlands – it’s more like The BIKING Dead.”
And here’s another example of Culture Shock Therapy. As soon as I started learning Dutch, I realized “Oh, you don’t need to yell the whole time.”
“Other cultures might say things like ‘Wow, you look good! Have you lost weight?’ Dutch people will say ‘Wow, you used to be so fat!'”
Dutch people are known for being DIRECT. Which is an indirect way of saying RUDE. If Americans have a reputation for being politely indirect, and the British have a reputation for being politely indecipherable, Dutch people pride themselves on being brutally honest – sometimes at the expense of politeness, or tact, or respect for human dignity. But at least you know where you stand. And HOW you stand – which is much shorter, once their comments cut you off at the knees.
Greg Shapiro (Zondag Met Lubach, Boom Chicago, Comedy Central) is The American Netherlander. He has performed his masterclass in Dutch Culture Shock Therapy for heads of state, the King of the Netherlands and once for the Business Class section of a KLM 747 to Chicago.
Greg Shapiro on ‘Weet Ik Veel’ with ‘How to Be Orange’
Last fall, I got a call from the Dutch quiz show Weet Ik Veel. They wanted to use a clip from the ‘How to Be Orange’ standup special I made for VARA in 2013. The episode aired in 2021. Beau van Erven Dorens was there, talking about Dutch terms that don’t translate well into English.
And that’s when they played my video.
We start off with a company called HILARIUS ASPHALT.
Then there’s a health drink that’s pronounced AIDS.
There’s the product (or service?) called BABY DUMP.
And the revenge of the dumped baby, which is a Nutricia ad featuring the phrase MAMA DIE! DIE! DIE!
But the moment they really wanted on Weet Ik Veel was the shampoo for removing tangles in your hair. It’s called ANTI-KLIT.
Watch and enjoy what I call ‘CULTURE SHOCK THERAPY.’
Q&A: Why EU Vaccine Strategy Is Not as Bad as You Think
On my YouTube channel, I have a long-running show called ‘United States of Europe’ – Making fun of the EU the American way. So of course, I had to make fun of the EU’s comically slow Covid vaccination rates, as compared to the US and the UK. BUT along the way, I realized – it’s not that simple. In fact, in many ways EU vaccination policy is not as bad as you’d think.
In the video, I started with:
“The World Health Organization (WHO) has criticized the rollout of coronavirus vaccines in Europe as being ‘unacceptably slow.’ I’m in the Netherlands and as of April, even my friend who works in health care can’t ‘get a jab.’
I know the Dutch are famous for the ‘Netherlands Second’ video. But now it’s more like ‘we know it’s going to be the rest of the EU first, but can we just say NL 27th?’
When it comes to vaccinations, you have to think of the German poet Heinrich Heine who said: ‘When the end of the world comes make your way to Holland. There everything happens fifty years late.'”
…SO that was where I would normally end the video. BUT this time I decided go a bit deeper.
One of the people who appreciated my video was Trendwatcher Vincent Everts. Vincent is a longtime friend of Boom Chicago, (and he hosts a weekly online show with America expert Charles Groenhuijsen). Vincent noticed that my EU vaccine video was a lot longer than usual. Because there was a lot more to cover! So we did a deep dive interview. Well, it wasn’t supposed to be such a deep dive, because it was on a Saturday morning. And he totally missed his slot on the tennis court.
For more regular updates on The United States of Europe, check http://youtube.com/gregshapiro .
‘A Very Sharp and Dangerous Edge’ ArtsTalk Magazine, 14 October 2020
by Michael Hasted
Every serious comedian – I mean the ones with something relevant to say, not those that are not funny – must rub their hands with glee when someone like Donald J. Trump appears on the world stage. Love ‘em or loath ‘em, they are both larger-than-life characters. And they provide unlimited grist to the comedians’ mill.
Greg Shapiro is an American comedian who’s been in Amsterdam and fully assimilated into the Dutch way of life for over 25 years. But like any ex-pat, the ties that bind can never be fully severed. And you can feel his pain and anger at his homeland being brought to its knees by a president who is impossible to respect. And easy to despise and deride. Shapiro has his own personal axe to grind. His stepfather was killed by Covid 19 due, Shapiro believes, to the unwillingness or ineptitude of the Trump administration in taking the pandemic seriously.
Touring During Covid
Shapiro has dined out, professionally, on Trump for more than four years. He’s provided the President’s voice in various venues and scenarios and lampooning him in his numerous stand-up routines. But now it’s only a short time before, hopefully, Trump is ousted. Shapiro is shedding the voice and the jokes. And hopefully, along with the rest of the world, he’s moving on to pastures new. So he and all of us, with any luck, will be leaving Trumpland.
This tour is, perhaps optimistically, a pre-celebration of Trump’s demise. But it has been slightly compromised by the CoronaVirus restrictions. A thirty strong audience in a small club can be intimate and cosy; in a five-hundred-seater theatre where everyone is spread all over the room, it can seem the opposite. Nevertheless, Shapiro is a seasoned pro and he ain’t gonna let a little thing like that throw him.
A Very Sharp and Dangerous Edge
Despite having spent half his life in The Netherlands and having a Dutch family, Shapiro is still unmistakably American. He is almost of the old school, almost a stereotypical American. With his smart suit, Brooks Brothers shirt, neat hair and smooth delivery, one could almost imagine him as a 1950s crooner in a previous incarnation. But despite that, there is a very sharp and dangerous edge to the man. There’s an edge that cuts deep into Dutch and American politics and society, revealing the flaws and eccentricities as well as the myriad things that should be celebrated in both cultures. He has a unique viewpoint from where he can gaze on both sides, subjectively and objectively, all at the same time.
In Leaving Trumpland, Shapiro’s American family no longer asks, “When are you coming home?”, but “Can’t I come with you to the Netherlands?” Shapiro says he has never been so proud to be half-Dutch and that, looking at the current state of the USA, he finally understands the true meaning of gloating.
If you don’t know Greg Shapiro, I would highly recommend you buy yourself a ticket for this current tour. Discover a comedian who is not only very funny but one who applies his unique situation to provide telling insights into life on both side of, as they say, the big pond. It is no longer a case of God Bless America but one of God Help America. And us all, come to that.
Vanity Fair, 2017 – The ‘Netherlands Second’ origin story
De Telegraaf, 2020 for Leaving Trumpland
Greg & Inez in VARA gids, 2020
Het Parool, 2018
‘Boom Chicago Celebrates with a Scarily Real Fake Trump’
Greg & Inez in VARA Gids, 2016
Pep Rosenfeld & Greg Shapiro in Int’l Herald Tribune, 2003
New York Times, 2017 ‘Netherlands Second’ video inspires copycats
Greg Shapiro in De Volkskrant, 2020
Het Parool, 2020 – Op het Klapstoel
Greg Shapiro in Holland Media Combinatie, 2020
Some text:
VANITY FAIR (February, 2017)
‘Meet the Men Trolling Trump in Those Viral European Videos’ – by Hillary Busis
Greg Shapiro and Shaun Streeter have ace Trump impressions—and they’ve been lending them to a variety of European countries.
It took a full five years after George W. Bush’s inauguration for a comedian to utterly rip apart the president with his words. By contrast, the comic outrage inspired by Donald Trump and his White House rogues gallery has been swift, unrelenting, and thoroughly vicious—and U.S.-based comedians aren’t the only ones getting in on the fun.
Shortly after Trump’s inauguration, a Dutch answer to The Daily Show made the new president a pointed welcome video that quickly went viral, inspiring imitators from across Europe, and, eventually, the globe. (Hello, Morocco!) The clips share an impish sensibility, a tagline (“America first; [insert country here] second”), and narration done in the voice of Trump himself. What you may not know is who’s behind said narration: Greg Shapiro, a comedian from Chicago who’s been living in the Netherlands since the mid-90s, did the voice heard in the very first European parody video.
Shapiro European Origin Story
Greg Shapiro is one of the founders of Amsterdam’s Boom Chicago, a comedy theater similar to New York’s Upright Citizens Brigade and Chicago’s Second City. For years, the theater has served as an informal Dutch finishing school for American comedians—including names like Jordan Peele, Ike Barinholtz, and Seth Meyers.
Since making his move across the Atlantic, Shapiro has written books with names like Going Dutch and How to Be Orange; he also hosts a web series called United States of Europe, a satirical take on European current events. Even so, the comedian has never forgotten his American roots. His resume includes Bush-spoofing Boom Chicago shows called Bye Bye Bush and 9/11 Forever—and, of course, that ace Donald Trump impression, which Shapiro is currently showing off in a new Boom show called Angry White Men: Trump Up the Volume.
Hoera! I’m celebrating 25 years in Dutch-land / Holland / The Netherlands. When I got here, the country couldn’t make up its mind what to call itself. Interestingly, neither could I. Growing up, my name was “Greg Shore.” That was my step-father’s name. But it was the Dutch who would interrogate me about my authentic name: “What’s your birth name? THAT’S your name!” I grew up thinking Shapiro sounded too Jewish. But Dutch people universally replied “Shapiro: cool name.” What better way to say “welcome?” And my name was not the only one that would change.
Zuidas was not called Zuidas. Was there even a Station Zuid? No. It was Station Zuid WTC. They changed the name somewhere in the early 2000’s. Apparently after 9/11, the term World Trade Center was just not great branding. Zuidas back then was… I don’t really know. Like so many expats when they first arrive, my entire world was pretty much Amsterdam Centrum. Well, Centrum and the Vreemdelingenpolitie in Slotermeer. But soon enough every expat knew WTC as home the Amsterdam Expat Center! Of course, by now they’ve changed their name too. Now it’s IN Amsterdam. I just call it “The Office Formerly Known As ExpatCenter.”
When I came to the Netherlands, the country marketing said “Visit Holland.” The logo of the tourism board was a tulip saying “Welcome to Holland.” And the in-flight KLM magazine was called The Holland Herald. It’s no wonder most people fail to realize the name of the country is The Netherlands. Maybe it’s just too long, too clunky, not great for marketing. But then came a little viral video called “Netherlands Second,” which turned out to be pretty good advertising for this country’s true name. Then came The Netherlands winning Eurovision 2019 – and hosting Eurovision 2020!
And now – for the first time in at least 25 years – the Dutch government is ditching the term Holland and rebranding as The Netherlands. You’re welcome!
‘Lively …emotional …tightly constructed performance. 4 Stars’ – De Volkskrant
‘Sharp Satire of America Under Trump’ – Theaterkrant
‘Superior Trump Bashing’ Theater review Lock Him Up (Boom Chicago)
Theater Review: LEAVING TRUMPLAND ‘A Very Sharp and Dangerous Edge’
ArtsTalk Magazine, October 2020
by Michael Hasted
Greg Shapiro is an American comedian who’s fully assimilated into the Dutch way of life for over 25 years. But like any ex-pat, the ties that bind can never be fully severed. And you can feel his pain and anger at his homeland being brought to its knees by a president who is impossible to respect.
Despite having spent half his life in The Netherlands and having a Dutch family, Shapiro is still unmistakably American. … there is a very sharp and dangerous edge to the man. He has a unique viewpoint from where he can gaze on both sides, subjectively and objectively, all at the same time.
If you don’t know Greg Shapiro, I would highly recommend you buy yourself a ticket for this current tour.
(edited from the original)
Book Review: THE AMERICAN NETHERLANDER ‘Sharp eye for detail …hilarious point of view’
Access Magazine, April 2021 by Giulia Quaresima
“With a sense of humour and sharp eye for detail …this is a good starting point to understanding life in the Netherlands. This book tells the story of Shapiro’s personal cultural adventure and assimilation in the Netherlands. …[it’s] a manual to understand the country, using the author’s personal anecdotes for a subjective and hilarious point of view.
The second part of the book is a Dutch assimilation test. [it’s] a collection of all the questions that should be included in the inburgering exams. According to Shapiro, these reveal more than the exam ever intended.
Give it a try and see how Dutch you are!”
(edited from the original)
