I’ve taken my international standup set to Brussels, to Paris, to Zurich… and so many comedian friends have told me: “You have to check out the English comedy scene in Berlin. There are so many shows! You can do 2 or 3 a night!”
What they meant was: “You can do 2 or 3 shows a night… and make about €30!”
Of course I took the train. Because I’d heard bad things about DB Deutsche Bahn, so it’s good for material. And quickly enough a German passenger claimed my seat (good luck trying to reserve a seat via Dutch rail…)
Indeed, the train to Berlin was way overcrowded. And when we arrived at Berlin Central Station, there was big welcome sign for all the English-speakers: “Travel if you dare.” Wilkommen!
I played my first show at a bar called Oblomov (in Neuköln), for the enigmatic stage animal Rohit Bhatia.
What a loving little audience! And as soon as we were done, the bar crowd spilled over into our room and put on music, but not for dancing. They were just standing in the stage lights and posing. It was like they were doing a parody of Mike Meyers from Saturday Night Live: “And now is the time on ‘Sprockets’ when we dance.” The bartender explained it to me this way. “Amsterdam is wild, but Berlin is weird.” Keep Berlin weird.
Friday night my international set killed – KILLED! In fact, I had two gigs – meaning I had to get from a bar in West Berlin to Comedy Cafè in East Berlin. And this was a highlight of my trip: I rented an e-bike and jetted through town at twilight.
It felt like all of Berlin was one big green space – with apartments and shops in between. (And indeed, someone said Berlin is the greenest capital city in Europe.) I even tried out some jokes about biking in Berlin – on the Sonnenallee – and the audience gave an audible “Oooh!” Because “No one dares biking on Sonnenallee!” Well, this Amsterdammer does.
On Saturday I checked out Cosmic comedy, where I hope to play in October. On Sunday I played The Wall Comedy Club, and one of my favorite things to do is to take portraits of the other comedians onstage and send them after the show. My final show was for EastWest COMEDY in front of a familiar red curtain.
It was very warm while I was in town, so I found myself wearing my trademark suit and tie, but with shorts instead of suit pants.
Someone described me as a human mullet. “Business up top, but party down below.”
Doing my part to KEEP BERLIN WEIRD.
See you in October, Berlin! I’ll be touring a double bill with Ken Parsons.
PEP & GREG SAVE AMERICA at Boom Chicago Theater
8 March 2023
Pep Rosenfeld (SNL) & Greg Shapiro (‘Netherlands Second’ video) are back at Boom Chicago – to save America! And also to make fun of Marjorie Taylor Greene. This political comedy show dares to make the argument: it’s safe to be proud of America again! In fact, that’s our only option – if we want to beat Trump in 2024. (yes, it’ll be Trump.)
The 2024 election is already underway.
-Will Trump be replaced by someone worse?
-Will Joe Biden survive until 2024?
– AND (Will FOX News survive until 2024?)
Inspired by Joe Biden’s Summit for Democracy series, Pep & Greg Save America proposes 5 simple changes that could make a HUGE difference – and they make it funny. Pep & Greg have done 10 political comedy shows so far, with their patented mix of standup comedy and improvisation. As in their previous hit show Trump Up the Volume.
And this time we brought a friend! Pep & Greg Save America features songs and improvisation by the critically-acclaimed Stacey Smith and Sacha Hoedemaker.
Pep Rosenfeld: in addition to his work at Boom Chicago, Pep was also nominated for an Emmy for his work at Saturday Night Live.
Greg Shapiro: Greg is known as the host of Boom Chicago’s Comedy Central News, as well as the voice of Donald Trump in Arjen Lubach’s viral video ‘The Netherlands Second.’
REVIEW: PEP & GREG SAVE AMERICA AT BOOM CHICAGO
as seen in ArtsTalkMagazine.nl “JOKES WERE WELL-SCULPTED AND WIDE-RANGING.” “ENGAGING WITH THE AUDIENCE, THEY WERE QUICK, PROVOCATIVE AND PUGNACIOUS.”
PRAISE for Pep & Greg’s previous Boom Chicago shows:
‘Sharp satire and world class improvisation’ – De Volkskrant.
‘Five stars! Greg and Pep have an incredible charisma and are very funny…. Sassy Stacey’s super singing is the icing on the cake.’ — D Robbinson, Trip Advisor
‘Superior. Hilarious satire’ – Theaterkrant.nl
|‘Greg is a scarily real fake Trump’ – Het Parool
By popular demand! You now have a one-stop shop for all my Greg Shapiro Comedy Shows – and TV appearances.
SHOWS
Good news: I now have all my upcoming comedy dates on one page: standup / improv / solo shows.
(Some seasons I have a proper theater tour with a whole season full of bookings, known months in advance. …This is not one of those seasons.)
This season I’m picking up ad hoc gigs on a month-by-month basis, mostly in the Netherlands. Mostly standup comedy spots. Also comedy improv shows, mostly at Boom Chicago.
BUT – sometimes I pick up a show in Paris, just because I’m passing through.
FOR EXAMPLE:
22 Feb. PowerPoint Comedy Show Wed, Mar 22, 8:00 PM – 10:00 PM La Pomme D’eve 1 Rue Laplace, Paris 75005 calendar.google.com/calendar/u/0/r/week
And yes, I’m in tryout phase for my new solo show: Dutch to the Rescue. Early previews are great so far!
Greg Shapiro New Solo: ’DUTCH TO THE RESCUE’
Who do you call when you need a sea wall? The Dutch.
Which country’s thriving with sea levels rising? The Dutch.
Who brings you luck when your container ship’s stuck? The Dutch.
When it comes to Climate Change, the Netherlands has a lot of answers to world’s challenges. But they don’t like to talk about it. Yes, Dutch people are producing the world’s first solar-powered car, creating lab-grown meat, cleaning up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch… but they don’t like to brag. The Netherlands is like a superhero obsessed with their secret identity.
Enter Greg Shapiro, who’s been living in the Netherlands long enough to be proud of the Dutch – and still American enough to not care how l out he is about it.
“Didn’t I see you on TV?” The answer is: MAYBE, yes. Here is a one-stop shop for everyone wondering if you actually saw me on television – or if you were thinking of Screech from Saved by the Bell.
Here you have a bunch of clickable videos with Dutch American comedian me on – mostly Dutch – TV. Of course there’s the ‘Netherlands Second’ video (scroll down to bottom). But most of these clips are me appearing as myself. And – since I am The American Netherlander – these clips are partly in English, and partly in (bad) Dutch.
Find my TV Appearances page in the MENU under MEDIA – or click here: https://gregshapiro.nl/media/theater-reviews-for-greg-shapiros-latest-shows/
GREG SHAPIRO HOSTS PePijn Comedy Club JANUARY – IN ENGLISH
12 Jan., 2023
So much talent developing in the English-language comedy scene in The Netherlands! And I get to curate it for PePijn’s Comedy Club. Here’s the Best-of the January edition:
(Yes, I’m wearing a mustache. I hate it! I had to grow it out for a film role. Coming soon…)
(previously…)
I am lucky enough to be programming one of these English comedy nights, in one of my favorite little spaces: Theater PePijn in The Hague. Normally reserved for solo shows and Dutch ‘cabaret,’ it is known among comedians as one of the best spaces to perform.
The January show:
SJOERD SCOTT.
He’s a black man from the Caribbean – but his name is Sjoerd. The jokes write themselves. Yet the magic came in his crowd work: “Are you two together? I hope so, because she’s got her head on your shoulder. Sir, if she’s NOT with you, please blink three times.” Plus: “How did you two meet? At work? So: ‘unprofessional?’ Should someone be calling HR?”
KEN PARSONS.
Ken is a folk-singing comedian, who is not afraid to talk about mental health issues during the holidays. Hence, he introduced a new song called “Bipolar Christmas.” Ken is also a Dutch teacher, and his roast of the Dutch language is legendary. And – as a former squatter – Ken knows all the best places to organize his many comedy shows.
JACK HEYJACK. Stepped in as our 5-minute spot. He talked about being legally blind. (After the legally deaf Lara Ricote last month, I can see a pattern developing.) If I can make him stick to material about the realities of blindness (and playing the kazoo), he’ll be all right.
KENDRA BORGEN.
Our headliner for the night! “Anybody doing any New Year’s Resolutions? Because statistically, 80% of people fail by Day 8. And the rest of us fail by Day 12. …That’s today!” Kendra also talked about trying to get in shape after the Covid lockdown: “The only 19 I got was kilos. I gained so much weight, I went from NOT being in an at-risk group – for getting the early vaccine – to being IN the at-risk group.”
Theater PePijn was established as a tryout space for the bigger names in Dutch theater and ‘cabaret.’ You can still find big name artists for a tiny little price, as they try out new material.
THE NEXT DATES FOR PEPIJN’S COMEDY CLUB – IN ENGLISH
Finally, a magazine dedicated to Sharing Best Practice in the (Corporate) Events Sector! Conference Matters Magazine. I was happy to be interviewed for Conference Matters, and Jeroen Mirck’s questions were so good I love him now. Here’s a preview of the interview. Please do click the link and subscribe to the magazine, if you care about quality events. https://conferencematters.nl/en/greg-shapiro-humor-can-be-the-safest-option-for-serious-events/
STAND-UP COMEDIAN GREG SHAPIRO: ‘EVEN FOR SERIOUS EVENTS, HUMOR CAN BE THE SAFEST OPTION’ CONFERENCE MATTERS MAGAZINE, 18-11-2022
Greg Shapiro is a Dutch American comedian who gathered world fame with his vocal impersonation of Donald Trump in the viral ‘Netherlands Second’ video. He started his career as a member of the comedy group Boom Chicago and became a popular speaker at business events. “Humor is the safest option at a serious business event.”
Greg Shapiro was seven years old when he saw the first season of Saturday Night Live. “That’s when I knew I wanted to be a comedian. And I found out that John Belushi, Gilda Radner and Bill Murray all started their careers at this one theater called The Second City. And it was in my hometown, Chicago! ‘The Second City,’ as in ‘New York first, Chicago second.’ …It was indeed my destiny.”
“Totally changed my life, bigly. Hyuge! Hahaha. I don’t know if the ‘Netherlands Second’ video changed my life, but I did enjoy hearing that it was used by the Dutch foreign ministry for trade missions! Personally, I used my Trump impression for a whole standup show – as well as for conferences like The Next Web. We interrupted the show with screens saying ‘Donald Trump Live by Phone’ and had me doing a voiceover from offstage. Then Trump would improvise his reaction to how the conference was going so far. It’s a formula we used many times since!”
When is humor a good recipe for a serious business event?
“Humor is always good. Even during a serious business event, humor can actually be the safest option. I recently hosted an event where the CEO wanted me to create an informal atmosphere – a ‘safe space’ for the audience to feel comfortable asking the difficult questions. And sure enough, someone asked about accusations of ‘greenwashing.’ The CEO gave a serious answer and admitted that in the past few years the accusations were partly true. And that’s why they’d appointed their first-ever Chief Sustainability Officer. Once he was done, I turned the humor back up to 100% by saying that if anyone complains about Dutch companies not being green enough, remind them that Shell Oil is now located in the UK.”
What is your expert advice for hosts and speakers who want to be funny?
“Good news! You don’t have to do anything – just be yourself. As we say in improv comedy, ‘Truth is funnier than fiction.’ All you need is a good co-host to help you be yourself. You need a good wing man!”
Hire an Event Organizer for Christmas – by Greg Shapiro 16 December, 2022
Dear Corporate Event Planners, IT’S NOT TOO LATE to HIRE AN EVENT ORGANIZER.
There’s a noticeable trend I’ve observed this year: some of the wealthiest companies in the country are making rookie mistakes at their events.
The good news: Hooray! The Covid lockdown is officially behind us, and we can have Christmas / Year-End events again.
The bad news: No one remembers how to organize events anymore! Remember Marloes / Marlies / Marjolein? The one who USED to know who to call to organize all the events? She left during the Great Reset, didn’t she? And you didn’t replace her yet, did you?
The FIRST thing she would do is: HIRE AN EVENT ORGANIZER. But too often I’ve seen this logic this year: “I’ll organize it myself. How hard can it be?” And now you’re finding out the hard way: HOW HARD IT CAN BE.
STEP 1: THE FOOD.
Recently, I was at an event where I heard:
“We wanted a Christmas party where everyone is invited. Even the kitchen staff!”
Who’s going to serve the food?
“We’ll just use the kitchen staff – they’ll already be there.”
And yes, the food was served – but no one cleared the plates. The half-eaten food just stacked up on the tables, like at a fraternity party. “Merry Christmas!”
STEP 2: THE TECH TEAM.
“I’m sure the location will provide their own technician-?” Yes, and – they know how to set up the gear …but they don’t always know how to run it. I was at a major B2B event, where they’d hired an A-lister TV personality to play host for a crowd of 700. They’d even put up video screens to beam the host to the tables at the back – but they forgot to turn them on. The result: half the crowd couldn’t see, and they talked through the whole show. “We paid enough for the TV star – why should we also pay for extra technicians?”
STEP 3: THE ENTERTAINMENT.
“We’ll get the DJ we hired last time. And we’ll hire that comedian I know from the gym!”
Result: The comedian is expected to perform in front of the DJ set-up. Aka: Amateur hour.
Or – yes they thought of a stage, but no they didn’t think of lighting. Or background.
“And who needs to hire an MC? I’ll just do it myself.”
Last time, our host introduced the first comedian DURING the first course of the meal. Making sure everyone was eating and chatting instead of listening. The result was this:
It was something like a horror show.
HIRE AN EVENT ORGANIZER for Christmas.
Here is a list of event organizers I like to work with. CALL THEM!
And hire back Marloes / Marlies / Marjolein as soon as possible.
——
Aaaaha! Livecommunicatie
Evented
Evers Evenementen
LEF Marketing & Events
Moderating EU
Obsession Evenementen
PINO Evenementen
WOP Events
Anyone I’m forgetting? I’m making my list and checking it twice…
The English-language comedy scene in The Netherlands is developing so much comedy talent these days! For under 20 euros, you can easily see ‘Tomorrow’s Netflix Special’ comedians – before they start charging 75 euros per ticket. I am lucky enough to be programming one of these English comedy nights, in one of my favorite little spaces: Theater PePijn in The Hague. Normally reserved for solo shows and Dutch ‘cabaret,’ it is known among comedians as one of the best spaces to perform.
LARA RICOTE – our First Headliner
Lara started out as an international student in Amsterdam a few years ago. She developed her first solo show based on her unique blend of demographic categories: GRL/LATINX/DEF. “Girl, Latin American, and hard of hearing.” Lara plays up her triple ‘Minority status’ to great effect. Now she’s winning awards like the UK Funny Women Award and the coveted Best Newcomer Award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2022.
Before Lara moves off to the UK – or the US – I managed to get her onstage for the November edition of PEPIJN’S COMEDY CLUB – IN ENGLISH.
WATCH (90 seconds):
Also featured in the November show
– Hermes Ahmadi. Afghan / Dutch comedian, known for his solo show You Might Be Here. – La Hager – Egyptian / Dutch comedian, and female. She is a mainstay of the English comedy scene, particularly in The Hague.
– Lia Sulim – Ukrainian comedian – was in the New Talent spot. She is a recent immigrant, forced to flee from the invasion. She’s still working on her English, but her punchlines are killer. One to watch.
+ special thanks to Lia’s boyfriend ISIK ISIN for photos & videos!
Theater PePijn was established as a tryout space for the bigger names in Dutch theater and ‘cabaret.’ You can still find big name artists for a tiny little price, as they try out new material.
The next dates for PEPIJN’S COMEDY CLUB – IN ENGLISH
as seen in ArtsTalkMagazine.nl “JOKES WERE WELL-SCULPTED AND WIDE-RANGING.” “ENGAGING WITH THE AUDIENCE, THEY WERE QUICK, PROVOCATIVE AND PUGNACIOUS.”
15 November, 2022
REVIEWED BY Jacob John Shale :
Political comedy is largely useless. That is to say that it has no impact upon the figures, events and institutions it criticises. There’s a very funny moment in one of the comedian Doug Stanhope’s specials (or maybe it’s from an interview, I can’t find the clip online) in which he describes his exasperation at having to encounter people debating issues he has already dealt with in his previous stand-up routines. I’m paraphrasing, but Stanhope’s joke goes something like: How is this argument still going on? Don’t they know I’ve already shouted at thousands of drunk people about this?
Pep and Greg Save America
(hosted by Pep Rosenfeld and Greg Shapiro) wants to be regarded as a work of uncompromising satire. The premise of the show, which premiered at Boom Chicago on the night of the midterm election, is that America is a wonderful place currently captured by a band of right-wing lunatics whose ideals bear no resemblance to those on which the country was founded. They argue that the Democrats should once again embrace patriotism; rescue it from Republican hands. Against this premise, we have the hosts’ recognition that entertainment is not activism. Their title is self-mocking in the same manner as the joke by Stanhope mentioned above. Rosenfeld and Shapiro understand that America will not be saved by the end of the night, and how ridiculous it is to assume that comedy should serve this function.
The show’s targets
were about as predictable as the darts that were flung at them. Still, they landed. When faced with the gargoyles of the American political scene, many contemporary comedians seem to feel that there is little need in putting together a punch line. And why would they? All you have to do is quote a particularly stupid remark and you have your applause. This approach was thankfully not too much present in last night’s show.
The two comedians’ jokes were well-sculpted and wide-ranging in their references – everything from Tucker Carlson (of whom Shapiro performed an impression) to She-Hulk (used to make an unexpected comparison) to Twin Peaks (it dismays me to report that this joke, which I will not spoil, was the one that elicited the least laughter). Ultimately, it was in their crowd-work that I thought Shapiro and Rosenfeld were at their funniest. Engaging with the audience, they were quick, provocative and pugnacious. It made me wish that the rest of the show had not been so carefully engineered.
Greg Shapiro ‘NETHERLANDS CHEERLEADER’ – Speakers Academy Magazine, 2022-23 by Jacques Geluk
Greg Shapiro is world-famous, ever since he perfectly imitated Donald Trump’s voice in Arjen Lubach’s ‘Netherlands Second’ video. (It’s since been viewed almost 30 million times). Shapiro is already known in the Netherlands for his work with Boom Chicago comedy theater, and previously as host and writer of Comedy Central News. Now, he is also an author and vlogger, and he frequently focuses on the Netherlands and Dutch innovations – a self-proclaimed ‘cheerleader for the Netherlands.’
Shapiro moved to the Netherlands in 1994 and is married to a Dutch woman. “Came for work, stayed for love.” By now he has lived here more than half his life, hence he knows both American and Dutch culture quite well. He often gives a ‘Masterclass’ in Dutch culture called ‘Culture Shock Therapy,’ or additionally ‘How to Be Dutch: the Quiz.’
Given Shapiro’s unique Dutch-American status, he is a popular bilingual speaker at major events. He is known for hosting or performing for NATO, for the president of France, and for King Willem Alexander. “I’ve lived here long enough to be proud of the Netherlands, but I’m still American enough to not care how loud I am about it,” says Greg in his native language. “I am frequently asked by Dutch or multinational companies for business events, often to talk about culture shock. I confront the stereotypes like sex, drugs – and Dutch cheapness. Then I go into more detail, realizing that it’s actually better here than I was used to in America. As ‘The American Netherlander’ [which is also the title of his last book from 2020], I am already a fan of Dutch inventions, innovations, water management. I’ve become a kind of cheerleader.”
Business card
Shapiro finds it interesting that the ‘Netherlands Second’ video has been used by Prince Constantijn and the Netherlands Foreign Investment Agency during trade missions – as a kind of business card. “And as far as water management is concerned, yes there’s the Afsluitdijk – a marvel of water engineering. And there’s the Deltaworks in Zeeland – but also the New Orleans Deltaworks, built with the help of Dutch engineers at Royal Haskoning. It’s like the old commercials from Centrale Beheer: ‘Have a problem? Better call the Netherlands.’ Hurricane Katrina? Better call the Netherlands. Containership stuck in the Suez Canal? Better call the Netherlands (Boslkalis).”
“So many examples to mention! And not only foreigners are surprised to learn these companies are Dutch – it’s Dutch people too. Dutch folks are not giving themselves enough credit. That’s where I come in. And I’m collecting new examples all the time – for the shows and projects I do for clients like TU Delft, for Mosa Meat (lab-grown ‘cultivated’ meat) and for Wageningen University & Research.”
Event Host of the day
As an ‘improv comedian’, Greg Shapiro is also the almost ideal event host of the day. He puts guests, audience and organizations at ease with a lot of humor and always without being rude. If something goes wrong with the sound, a speaker who is not comfortable, the timing or the connection during a webinar… he improvises immediately, thanks to his many years of theater experience. “The unexpected actually makes it all a bit more lively and interesting for everyone.”
Greg Shapiro NETHERLANDS CHEERLEADER – in het nederlands
‘Een Cheerleader voor Nederland’
Hij is wereldberoemd sinds hij de stem van Donald Trump perfect heeft geïmiteerd in Arjen Lubachs ‘Netherlands Second’ video (inmiddels bijna 30 miljoen keer bekeken). Greg Shapiro is al bekend via Boom Chicago theater en als gastheer en schrijver van Comedy Central News. Nu is hij ook auteur en vlogger, met als onderwerp Nederland en Nederlandse innovaties. Hij is een zelfbenoemd ‘cheerleader van Nederland.’
Greg Shapiro woont sinds 1994 in Nederland en is getrouwd met een Nederlandse. Doordat hij nu al meer dan de helft van zijn leven hier woont kent hij zowel de Amerikaanse als de Nederlandse cultuur heel goed en kan hij ze naast elkaar leggen. Vaak geeft hij een ‘Masterclass’ in Nederlandse cultuur die heet ‘Culture Shock Therapy,’ of zelfs ‘How to Be Dutch: the Quiz.’
Mede daardoor is hij een gewilde tweetalige spreker op grote evenementen, voor zelfs de president van Frankrijk, de NAVO, en voor Koning Willem Alexander. “I’ve lived here long enough to be proud of the Netherlands, but I’m still American enough to not care how loud I am about it”, zegt Greg in zijn eerste moedertaal.
“Ik word meestal gevraagd door multinationale bedrijven voor grote B2B evenementen. Vaak praat ik over cultuurschok, de stereotypes met thema’s als seks, drugs – en de Nederlandse bescheidenheid. Daarna ga ik er dieper op in, beseffend dat het hier eigenlijk beter is dan ik gewend was in Amerika. Eigenlijk ben ik als ‘The American Netherlander’ (wat ook de titel is van mijn laatste boek uit 2020) al fan van Nederlandse uitvindingen, innovaties, watermanagement en andere technieken. Ik ben een soort cheerleader geworden.”
Visitekaartje
Hij vindt het interessant dat de ‘Netherlands Second’- video is gebruikt door prins Constantijn en het Netherlands Foreign Investment Agency tijdens handelsmissies als een soort visitekaartje. “Wat het watermanagement betreft benoem ik net als in de video de Afsluitdijk, een wonder van waterengineering, en maak ik de connectie met de deltawerken, en met de New Orleans deltawerken gebouwd met hulp van Nederlanders. Even Nederland bellen. Ik heb zo veel leuke voorbeelden te noemen! Vaak zijn buitenlanders verbaasd te horen dat de uitvoerende bedrijven Nederlands zijn. Maar vaak zijn ook Nederlanders zelf verbaasd! Dat verwerk ik allemaal in mijn lezingen, voor TU Delft, voor Mosa Meat (kweekvlees) en ook voor een project met Wageningen Universiteit & Research.”
Greg introduceert ook zijn vernieuwde YouTube-kanaal, Climate News Comedy, met nog meer voorbeelden uit Nederland.
Dagvoorzitter
Als ‘improv comedian’ is Greg Shapiro bovendien de welhaast ideale dagvoorzitter. Hij stelt gasten, publiek en organisaties op hun gemak met veel humor en altijd zonder grof te zijn. Als iets misgaat met het geluid, een spreker die zich niet comfortabel voelt, de timing of de verbinding tijdens een webinar… improviseert hij onmiddellijk, Geen probleem dankzij zijn langjarige theaterervaring. “Het onverwachte maakt het eigenlijk allemaal nog wat levendiger en interessanter voor iedereen.”
Greg Shapiro: ‘Dutch Direct vs the Elephant in the Room’
11 October, 2022
As ‘Dutch direct’ as you think may be, it still helps to have an American by your side. Dutch culture prides itself on being ‘Dutch direct,’ which is an indirect way of saying ‘rude.’ Sometimes I get hired by Dutch companies to host their events, to help ‘bridge the cultural gap’ between the older Dutch management and their mostly younger, more international staff. Practically, that means I get to share the stage with them and demonstrate how to not get upset when they say ‘Dutch direct’ things like “I wouldn’t have chosen that outfit” or “Ha ha – that joke didn’t work.”
Lesson Number One: start off by removing the tie.
To show how well integrated I am, I will sometimes respond to Dutch directness by teasing Dutch people right back. It makes the boss more human! There was one Dutch CEO who had a real ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ attitude. He liked to answer questions by saying “Okay, look…” But he was speaking English as a second language. So frequently – instead of saying look – he would use the Dutch word kijk. Luckily, he didn’t pronounce it the ethnic slur way. He said it more like “cake.” So I pointed out that – if he was going to start off every point talking about cake, there had better be some cake by the end of the day. (There was.)
DUTCH DIRECT + Yank Joke
For another event – for another ‘Dutch direct’ CEO – there was an elephant in the room. That’s partly why they’d hired me: to help keep the day loose and informal, so the audience would feel confident enough to ask the difficult questions. And the employees did ask difficult enough questions, about sustainability,about equal pay, about fair hiring… But then came a question about accusations of fake sustainability claims, ie ‘greenwashing.’ The elephant had arrived!
The CEO explained that he took the greenwashing accusations very seriously. He admitted that just a couple years ago those accusations would have been partly true. I said “I was here a couple years ago, and I can confirm! The last time I hosted for you guys, you had one HR manager saying ‘sustainability would be a good idea,’ and now she’s on the board as the first ever Chief Sustainability Officer. …And if anyone still comes with complaints that Dutch companies aren’t green enough, remind them that Shell Oil is now located in the UK.”
What a loving little audience! And as soon as we were done, the bar crowd spilled over into our room and put on music, but not for dancing. They were just standing in the stage lights and posing. It was like they were doing a parody of Mike Meyers from Saturday Night Live: “And now is the time on ‘Sprockets’ when we dance.” The bartender explained it to me this way. “Amsterdam is wild, but Berlin is weird.” Keep Berlin weird.
It felt like all of Berlin was one big green space – with apartments and shops in between. (And indeed, someone said Berlin is the greenest capital city in Europe.) I even tried out some jokes about biking in Berlin – on the Sonnenallee – and the audience gave an audible “Oooh!” Because “No one dares biking on Sonnenallee!” Well, this Amsterdammer does.
